won't you love me too. it's as simple as that ♥

♥ Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Hey
The weirdo is meeting her doom. Anti-weirdos, please start celebrating.
For the whole three days of chinese new year, I spent them msging and stoning and listening to music. WHOLE DAY.
Things to get worried about:
(1) MY HANDPHONE BILL!!! (It's not only gonna burn a hole in my pocket, my pants will burn together with the pocket. Whatever that means)
(2) My ears. The earphones plugged in my ears for so long and music blasting to cover the sound of mahjong and yakking
(3) My depression. For those who know why I'm depressed (my two good friends), thanks for trying to support me. I'm on my road to recovery and soon i'll be back to total madness (i think.)

Okay. Replies to tags:
Jolene -- Crap. I'm so not gay. Who's the gay one talking. Haha. Kidding. Of course I know you're not gay. Be prepared, a blind date is coming up for you...

Grace -- If you ever read this. Haha. Now you know the true side of me. I happen to be under the catergory of 'sadistic weirdo'. You can ask me more about my life during tuition. Haha. Happy to share with you. Don't be afraid of me, I maybe a sadist, but I don't kill friends. (:

End of tag replies.

Now, the exciting part. Story! I know, everyone of you are getting excited.

Living with a fire extinguisher is the title of the story. Hope you adore it.

(Similarity to any real life person or animal or spirit is not intended. Cos there's a very high possibility none of these has happened to you. HAHA)

Lehcar lives in this four room flat.
Lehcar lives on a fire extinguisher. Totally relies on it.
First thing, she uses it as a face wash. Sprays on her face. Then, eureka! Her face is as clean as a white sheet.
Secondly, when she's hungry, just gotta open her mouth and spray the foam inside. Yummy.
Thirdly, she baths in it. She just has to spray some on the ground, strip and enjoy her bath. After that, she'll be the cleanest person on earth.
Next, she just has to spray some over her lower half of the body to be used as a blanket at night.
(I'm trying to think of more.)
Okay... She hugs the fire extinguisher. It can be used as many things. I'll list them down
(1) Dumbbell. For exercise. Loads of exercise is good.
(2) Bolster. Hugs it to sleep everyday
(3) Roller blading. Don't ask me how.
(4) ACTIVITY PARTNER. Please, if you wanna think sick, go ahead.

She cannot live without her fire extinguisher. What she does for a living is teach people how to enjoy eating the foam. HOW??
Okay... Let's see. She stands in front of the person, sprays foam all over herself and then the person will automatically know what to do. (Up to you to think. (: )

Okay, I guess I better continue my story another day when I have more inspiration. Must be reading too many books of a certain author. Those interested in the author can ask me.

So long, people. Be patient and wait for my next post. Weirdos take a very long time. And the fact i'm a sadistic one who enjoys slow torture, wait long long, people.

♥ MEL

11:37 PM

♥ Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hey hey.

replies to tags first. Heh

Rach -- You stalker, I'm a freaking loner. And if you continue to think I'm gay, you're gonna get it from me. And don't you try to gay me okay. Haha. Thank god that i'm not writing here what you did today. A gay stalker with hidden motives. HAHAHA

Jolene -- Heck care about those links. Just type in URL won't kill you right? And about being slow, I TOTALLY AGREE. Just to hasten your thinking or you'll lose out. hah

Colin -- you have a talent in writing crap stories man. Haha. You should actually start a blog writing these type of stories. Alternative is you provide me with loads and loads of ideas to make MY blog fascinating, though i consider my art of writing crap NOT BAD. Haha

Today's topic is very unique. It's about egg yolk mask. Thanks to the contributions of Esther and Rachel (Don't say I'm not grateful okay.)

This is how you make a egg mask to BEAUTIFY your face. Take only ten minutes.
In 17 simple steps:
Step 1: Get an egg that has the length of 6cm
Step 2: Ensure there's a circumference at least 3cm
Step 3: Break the egg. Slowly. You don't want an explosion (erm. I don't have any idea what that means)
Step 4: Separate the yolk from the egg white.
Step 5: Go to the nearest Coffee shop to buy roti prata. Ask for extra gravy
Step 6: Put the egg yolk in one bowl and roti prata gravy in another. As for the egg white, you can dump it out of the window and act nonchalent about it if someone shouts from below.
Step 7: Take a pipette (steal it from my school science lab if you have to. Haha)
Step 8: Extract 25ml of prata gravy (if your pipette cannot extract that little or that much, you probably got the wrong instrument. Or maybe I told you the wrong name of the instrument. It might be something else. You can even use a beaker. I have no freaking idea what a pipette is. But I only remember it's used in science experiments)
Step 9: Drip that 25ml of gravy into the egg yolk.
Step 10: Stir.
Step 11: Stir more vigorously
Step 12: Stir even more vigrously
Step 13: If you find that the new solution doesn't look nice, repeat steps 8 to 12. (:
Step 14: Now, the lovely mask is ready. But WAIT. You forgot the paint brush!
Step 15: Take paint brush
Step 16: Dip paint brush into the bowl (of mixed yolk and gravy, duh!)
Step 17: Paint your face with the egg yolk mask

That's basically the easy 17 steps needed.

Well, if you are SLOW. Here are additional steps to take:
Step 18: Feel pain
Step 19: Struggle to get that sticky yolk thing off your face
Step 20: Rush to the toilet
Step 21: Pour water over it. (That's how you remove the freaking yolk thing you believed was a mask. It does come off with hot oil. You got to pour the hot oil over your face to get the yolk thing off.)
Step 22: Look at your face in the mirror
The most important step, STEP 23: SCREAM

Your freaking face is corroded.

For those who don't know what to do next, here are more steps to follow
Step 24: Curse me.
Step 25: Shout - 'fuck! fuck! fuck! what the fuck happened to me!"
Step 26: Curse me again. But this time shout - 'fuck! which damned weirdo wrote this piece of shit?'
Step 27: Notice that bubbles are forming on your already ugly face.
Step 28: Curse me again. (seems like I don't mind being cursed)
Step 29: Plot to murder me
Step 30: Come over to my house at 12 midnight to stab my stomach
Step 31: Trip over a stray dog's tail
Step 32: Lift up he knife and prepare to stab me
Step 33: DIE!

For those shitty people who even plan to kill me, you have just met your death and I doubt you are even alive to read this part. Condolences to those idiots who think they can murder me.
I so SINCERELY hope you enjoy your afterlife.

okay. I was supposed to write crap about something else but given my poor old failing memory I totally forgot what I wanted to say.

Anyway, I want to declare that I'm not gay. Haha. And obviously everyone knows that. Unlike SOME PERSON (rach) who keeps insisting I'm gay. Haha

Last but not least, a message from a weirdo. (I'm merely a poor messenger in the weirdo world.
ATTENTION HUMAN BEINGS. WERIDOS ARE INVADING EARTH!

Beleive it or not. Hah

the sadistic weirdo has just given you a miracle way to die a great and enjoyable death. Thank me by buying me a huge box of chocolate. I just recovered from flu. YAY! CELEBRATING TIME! - who says weirdos can't catch flus?

♥ MEL

10:48 PM

♥ Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hey hey. Running short of time so i'm just gonna reply tags.

Rachel -- ??? Insulted my story!

Colin -- Do you update your website?

Marcus -- Yes I'm from 6b04. How did you find my blog?? Added you on friendster. Add me on msn by yourself. I'm lazy. Haha

Lydia -- The chicken rice ball is so damn gross. I wanted to vomit. Hah

Jolene -- Seriously? It's fun reading my story? Haha. You must be a sadist too. But not as bad as me. Haha. Good luck with your geog test. I'm going to fail. Definitely.

Okay. The weirdo has to go off now. Sis rushing me to get off the com.

♥ MEL

4:38 AM

♥ Monday, February 05, 2007

hey

I'm trying to make this a long post but I don't know what to say.
Haha. No more long and lame posts about global warming. Cos I don't want esther to think i'm global warming crazy.

I shall reply tags first.

Esther -- If your brother is a weirdo, it has nothing to do with me. Haha. I'm a werido different from all other weirdos cos I'm a special weirdo. HAHA
And I'm on the loose. Careful, esther... someday I'll go over to your house and kill you. Not because I have a mental problem or whatever. I'm just a WEIRDO. Haha

Colin -- why do you call yourself a cow? Haha. That's kinda weird actaully.

Today's topic is HIPPOS

Hippos drink water, BREATHE and sleep.
Reminds you of anyone? (not me! duh!)
Okay... Here's a story of a weirdo hippo (not me)

Horny the hippo is horny. [crap. Reminder: This story has nothing to do with horny. Under 21 allowed to read]
The hippo's name is horny. [people who want to think sick, go ahead]
Okay... Horny the hippo loves to drink water that he shits and pees in. He sleeps in the water and claims it is NICE-SMELLING.
The water flows to a big lake. This lake where people (humans) bathe and wash clothings. Cos nearby is some kampong. Horny likes to sleep in the lake. Many people don't dare to bathe there cos the water is filled with shit and hippo pee. And who would dare to bathe there when you know a hippo is watching you and the hippo happens to be called HORNY? [up to you whether you wanna think sick or not]
one day, horny was bored. He came ashore. He walked to the kampong village.
Horny saw a bunch of young girls. [ come on, people... guess what happens next...]
Horny walked up to them... ...
... ... [creating suspense]
... ...

He opened his mouth and alot of saliva dripped out. He was drooling...
... ...
... ...

He walked up to the nearest one... ...
... ...
... ...

He grabbed her.... ...
... ...
... ...

And Horny tossed her ... ...

INTO HIS MOUTH. [HAH!]

The other girls screamed.

They ran towards the little house. And as soon as hippo swallowed the girl in his mouth, he dashed towards the hut. He was getting excited. He loved young girls. [haha]
He felt the floor shake and horny stopped in his tracks.
A UFO appeared. [ colin, praise me!]

the UFO swallowed the hippo. Horny was knocked unconscius.
when horny awoke, he was in the UFO. it looked like a hotel. But horny was strapped to a corner. He couldn't move. He tried to scream, but he had no voice.
Horny saw a young girl walk past. He began to drool.
The young girl walked up to him and before Horny could do anything, he heard a click.
The woman said in an robotic voice:
"Hello, horny hippo, I would like to play a game with you."
Horny started to sweat.
"You know the rules, horny. You know what will happen in the end."
Horny tried to move, but he couldn't.

Horny felt pain in his ears. His ears were drilled to the wall. He pulled as hard as he could.
SNAP!
the ear dropped to the ground. Horny screamed. NOOO!
But, too bad. The ear had fallen out. He couldn't do anything about it.
The girl plucked his eye balls out and threw it onto the ground. She picked up a golf stick and... [you know what happens next. do i still have to say?]
Hippo was then thrown into acid. He was half covered with acid when a machine began pouring in alkali. The solution begn to neutralize. Then it became more alkaline. Haha.
Horny died.

The next day, he awoke. He found himself moving. To be precise, he was jumping. He had become a zombie.
All he could do was jump around. If he was lucky, he would be able to float abit. Haha.

This is how the story ends.

The weirdo is now exhausted from typing shit

♥ MEL

11:20 PM

♥

Hey

Here's 5 reasons why I'm a weirdo:
(1) I do things differently. Haha. Makes me unique and WEIRD.
(2) I play lame games. Try the mcdonalds game. Best on earth. Heh.
(3) I am the calmest person on earth. Normally nothing can make me feel exceptionally happy or sad. [Esther may know what I get excited over. Esther! Don't you dare tell anyone. You know and I know]
(4) I get crazy looking at pianos. Grand pianos especially. You know plaza singapura? The yamaha has so many nice grand pianos on display.
(5) All of the above makes me weird. (:

Here are replies to tags. I may have replied your tag already, but since I have nothing to write, I shall reply once again.
Replies (according to alphabetical order. This is so that no one will say I'm bias or whatever. Haha. Try to decipher what that above sentence means. I have no idea. Heh)

Colin -- hey cow! Haha. the weirdo here says hi. And I emphasise that I didn't steal the idea from day after tomorrow. haha. I have to be the weirdest person on earth to ever come up with that shitty story.

Rach -- yoz. You roti prata woman. Haha. Or you prefer to call you man? roti prata man and woman. I repeat again. I didn't steal the idea. Thank you. I'm a genius. (:

Xin yi -- thanks! I like your blog too. (:

Even thought esther didn't tag or whatever. I just wanna say...
Esther, your brother is not related to me and we don't share ancestors or anything. I'm just a weirdo. As for your brother, he probably stole my idea. Heh. I don't know how. HAHA

The weirdo is sleepy. bye

♥ MEL

4:49 AM

♥ Saturday, February 03, 2007

hey

hey people! Look at my blog! It's so nice now.
Changes done:
(1) added youtube mv of panic! at the disco's I WRITE SINS NOT TRAGEDIES [ i rate this 1 billion stars! Panic! at the disco music is the best!]
(2) added link to the game - the classroom 2. It is very fun. You got to cheat and copy answers from the GEEK to win the game. There's also vulgar words. 'Fuck' comes out a lot of times. HAHA :)

And... SORRY! My links doesn't work. I'm still trying to find the links. Haha.

My blog is so great now. Panic! at the disco blogskin... Panic! at the disco song... Panic! at the disco fan (me!)

My reply to Jaanani's tag:
yes jaan. I'm crazy and weird. Thank you. Haha. Rachel and esther calls me weird all the time now. HAHA. I guess you can see the weirdness in me.
Yay! Weirdos rule the earth.

That time rach and were talking about linking stuff. We began from my handsome donation of 5 cents to make Rach a billionaire (absolute rubbish, but I really did give her 5 cents for free. lols)
Similar to handsome is pretty. So, the 5 cents can be described as a pretty sum.
Opposite of pretty is petty. If the amount of money is very little, let's say 400 bucks. You use petty sum.
In conclusion, 5 cents is a pretty handsome sum while 400 bucks is a petty sum.
Haha.

Let me tell you about the greatest thing on earth. Invented by me, the giant molecular love structure.
Rach loves prata, prata loves Rach, I love prata, prata loves me, prata loves money, money loves me, i love money, rach loves money ... ... ... the list goes on.
And somehow, we began talking about prata mutation. Prata mutation on the palm of rach's left hand. Prata will keep flowing out of rach's palm and she gets infinity servings of prata. And then, the mutation continues and soon, rach will become covered in roti prata and will be known the the whole world as ROTI PRATA MAN.
HAH!
I'm a genius.

It's getting cold nowadays. You know why? Esther and rach knows already. And I'm the WEIRDO who explained to them.
The weather is so cold because of GLOBAL WARMING. Let me emphasise that global warming is caused due to our genious actions of throwing rubbish into the dustbin and not REUSE, REDUCE and RECYCLE. Whatever that means.
If we continue these clever actions, we are going to become an ice ball. (Understand?) Singapore and the rest of the world and EARTH will become iceball and there'll be snow everywhere.
Let me explain the stupid process of how this ice formation occurs.
Step 1: We pollute the environment by throwing rubbish and burning crap stuff that we throw away (like plastic underwear and plastic whatever)
Step 2: The POISONOUS gas floats up into the sky like a balloon and tries to kiss the atmosphere.
Step 3: The atmosphere doesn't want to be kissed cos the gas was too damned ugly, therefore opening a hole in itself to let the poisonous gas float away. (ATMOSPHERE SAVES THE DAY)
Step 4: Atmosphere tries to close back the hole. But, It got too old and it's stuck. Too bad.
Step 5: UV rays can enter the holes.
Step 6: The earth is warmed. Ice cap melts and everything melts along with the ice-cream you happened to be eating 2 seconds ago.
Step 7: Evaporation occurs. The melted water is evaporated and changes state to water vapour. When it reaches high in the sky, it begans to rain.
Step 8: Repeat step 7 100 times. Yes, now the earth is cold and you don't have to travel all the way to the north or south pole to see a polar bear, penguin and eskimos. We now live in igloos.
That's basically how the earth became an iceball, any enquiries can call me up. I totally don't mind explaining this process again.

I have proved to everyone what a weird genius i am. And guess what. This is my longest post. Haha.
Filled with crap.

Fuck school. I don't want to go to school. I rather stay at home and sleep. It's is a torture to wake up at 6 every morning.
Fuck school rules. My skirt is not short and stupid teachers point me out when the entire cohort has skirts that are same length as mine or shorter. Okay, maybe some goody-goody students have skirts up to their ankles. And socks up to their knees. I'm surrendering and admitting my socks can't be seen. But who cares. I mean, it's quite idiotic that school cares so much about how we dress. Give us some freedom, man!
Fuck everything. I'm going to commit suicide in no time. Maybe after watching the earth turn into a iceball. That'll be exciting.

Project superstar finals tomorrow. And Diya has my support. All the way! Yay!

The weirdo typing shit in front of the computer says bye

♥ MEL

12:13 AM