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STARRY NIGHT
♥ Friday, October 19, 2007

KILL ME

seriously, i don't know what is happening to me.
crap, when on earth did i start uttering all this rubbish. and now everyone says i'm crazy.
okay everyone, here's the statement of the day

YES, MEL IS GOING CRAZY.

i am totally confused.
i don't know what i want.
i don't whether i should continue to befriend a certain few people.
i don't whether i should just take my life, leave this world and let life continue as usual for everyone else.

there's this pain in my heart.
everytime i think about you, i feel pain.
i keep telling myself not to.
we used to share something nice, didn't we?
why did it all have to go away?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
life is unfair. i'm really really confused.

i used to dream of you everyday.
okay, maybe not every single consecutive day.
but eversince the day we began to stop talking so much, my heart aches.
each time i think of you.
i really want to cry.
what pulled us apart?
why can't we just forget everything's that happened and be back to normal.
i'm not asking you to get together with me or what.
but, just talk to me again.
i missed the days we talked everyday.
the days we had so much fun over the phone.
being random and you being awfully sweet each time.
i missed the days where you were so nice.
so nice to talk to.
and really really comfortable to confide in.

recently, i began dreaming of a different person.
i don't get it.
why do i even dream of this person when i don't feel anything.
this person is really really a surprise.
yes, this person brought happiness and taught me a few things.
forget the past and move on.
yes, everyone tells me that.
hey, i did move on.
met someone new.

is that all a dream?
why is all these happening?
the person i have been dreaming of, obviously has no idea.
and i'm sure you guys reading this have completely no idea who are the few people i'm mentioning in this post.
ahh, well.
you should know who you are.
though i hope there will be no confusions and i hope no one gets any false impressions or anything.

i just feel like crawling to a corner, hug myself and cry myself to sleep.

life sucks.
don't ask me why.
it just does.
life's like this.
especially for me.
nothing seems to go my way.
good things always come to an end so quickly.

buy me some eyeliner to cheer me up?

♥ MEL
4:04 AM