won't you love me too. it's as simple as that ♥

♥ Monday, December 31, 2007

heyhey

lies....
why do people lie?

for personal reasons?
for personal gains?
or....
they don't wanna hurt other people's feelings.

that's known as white lies.

most people go "i hate liars"
when actually they themselves lie

what is the thing that makes everyone wanna lie?

a guy tells a girl "we can't be together cos my parents disapprove"
when the actual truth is he has 3 other girlfriends.
that's lying.

a dejected girl comes home from school with her report card lying right at the bottom of her bag.
mummy asks, "got back your report card yet"
and girl puts on a fake smile "no, mummy." and dashes into her room.
that's lying.

old man lying in bed.
feeling pain all over. his time is coming.
worried grandson rushes over to the bed.
"grandpa, are you feeling alright?"
the old feeble man smiles and says,
"great. i'm feeling better than ever. in fact, i'll be discharged soon!"
that's lying.

your best friend forgets about your birthday.
when she spends half the day with you and finally realises it's your birthday,
she gives you a peck on your cheek and hugs you.
"happy birthday, best friend." she whispers in your ear.
"i'm sorry i didn't have a present for you cos i'm quite short of cash"
that's lying.

you see, lies are everywhere.
filled in everyone's everyday lives.

note: the above are only examples.

why can't people stop lying and just tell the truth?

maybe cos....
the truth is too hurtful?

in the case of the unfaithful guy, the girl is sure to be hurt.
i mean. hey, the guy's cheating on ya! what's there to celebrate?
as for the report card, the girl probably doesn't wanna get scolded by her mummy.
the case of the old man, he doesn't want his grandson to feel sad.
but hey. when he goes, grandson will find it so sudden, he might feel even more pain?
as for the forgetful best friend, she's just trying to cover up.
but honestly, between best friends, what's there to hide?
if you forgot, you forgot!
i mean, which idiot will believe the best friend really ran outta cash

well, i guess.
life's like this.
life is full of lies, deceit....

sighh.
i myself am covering up alot of stuff.
mostly to parents ><
ahh.
i try not to.
i don't want to lie either.
my conscience eats my insides.
the intestines, stomach, liver....
no wonder people lose apetite when they lie too much.
hah!

sighh....
i don't want to lie anymore.
so, friends, if one day i ever tell you a piece of truth that ain't nice sounding at all,
DON'T GET MAD AT ME.
hey, i'm just being honest. okay?
appreciate it.

honesty is the best policy.

yeahyeah
those crap.

everyone lies.
the world is full of lies.

rahhhhhhhhh.
moral of the story: don't trust anyone

haha. nah.
just kidding.
well, it's good to have one or two friends you can really trust
but don't trust just anybody (:
that's a piece of my advice.

song of the day: son of lies by aiden
apology by alesana

tadeedooo! =D

♥ MEL

1:51 AM

♥ Saturday, December 29, 2007

heyhey.
new blogskin again.

thanks to a couple of dear ones who dropped by.
lydia, trisha, colin and reuben (:

ehh.
i don't know why life is soooo complicating.
but well, i gotta live with it.
haha.

losers....
why do people call each other losers?
i mean, the whole world is equal okay.

not really.
well, truth is.
people normally say:
when looking for a partner, what do you look out for.
there'll be answers like
"the heart"....
"the looks"....
"the money"....

has anyone considered....
the brain?

the most complex thing of the human body.
the brain.

the thing is,
i'm crazy about smart people.
people who use their brains right.

everyone is smart to me, okay
well,
everyone has a brain right.
hah!

here's a fact about your brain:

your left brain has nothing right.
and your right brain has nothing left!

haha. sorry if i'm being awfully lame
d:

see ya! (:

♥ MEL

6:21 AM

♥ Sunday, December 23, 2007

hey there.

got a question for those people whom i have sent random smses to:
WHY ARE YOU NOT REPLYING MY SMS?

-.-

gosh. don't make me scream.
i hate it when this happens. okay?
i sent out 6 messages this afternoon to 6 different people.
and none replied.

hey. i know i'm not miss popularity.
not everyone is obliged to reply my sms.
but at least one or two?

><>
if you don't want me to send you random messages, just tell me.
OKAY?
i am getting real irritated.
do you know how sad and lonely poor mel is?
someone care about her feelings man!
i need someone to talk to.
you don't want your nice friend to die of boredom yeah.
that'll be like.... so stupid

-.-

okay.
my conclusion: MEL IS STUPID.
happy? now you guys made me admit this
><
goshh.
spare a thought.
it sucks when someone doesn't reply your message.
duh

grhh. me not happy.
hey. tomorrow is christmas eve.
everyone, have you given me presents yet?
haha. nah. just joking (:
relax. if you're reading this post, you might be thinking i'm retarded.
YEAH. duh. i am so retarded.
don't even know why i'm typing all these.

zz. my internet connection sucks these few days.
even my computer's turning retarded.
><
what's the world coming to?
or
my world, at least.
i mean, half the time,
i don't even know if i'm awake.
i don't even know if my brain is functioning right.

when you think of a person,
what do you feel?
not just any person.
someone special to you.
someone who means something to you.
someone... you miss alot.

what's it like losing a treasured friend.
a friend you really enjoy spending time with.
a friend you don't want to part with.
....
....
....
....
(the dots are supposed to be indication of thinking)

honestly.
i really am getting to the truth.
the truth of how broken friendships are really hard to mend. even no matter how hard one party tries.
doesn't work.
useless.
waste of time.
i shouldn't bother.
i should just stab myself.

seriously.
okay, i am about to burst into tears.
but i will not let myself be so emotional again.
><
why bother.
i mean.
for my case.
there is no sign of optimism
i feel.... it's all lies.
lies.
nothing but lies.
i used to believe friendships will last.
all my friendships last.
the two friends i lost.
i patched back with one.
we're good friends again.
but the other....

is it that hard?
that hard to let go?
that hard to just TRY?
arghh.
forget it.
forget it, okay?
i don't want to try anymore.
i give up!
surrender!
hands down.
you win.
i'm tired of trying.
i'm sick of trying.
i'm feeling stupid cos i tried.
it's all a waste of effort, time and energy.
i don't want to try anymore.
you can ignore me for the rest of your life.
if it makes you happy.
does our friendship mean nothing?
that's what i feel.
if you really wanna mend this friendship,
you come explain to me
and
try....
try to fix all these.
i'm not going to do anything anymore.
whether you want this friendship or not.
you do something.

hmm. guess this is pretty emotional.
i promised myself no emo posts.
happy cheerful ones.
i even changed the blogskin!
><
but if i really am not in the mood.
i can't help it.
i'm sorry.
to those who feel they have wasted so much time reading this rubbish.
i wasted so much time typing this too.

ciao

♥ MEL

3:58 AM

♥ Saturday, December 22, 2007

heyhey everyone.

new blogskin and hopefully, less emo?

oh boy.
i don't know what's going in my head.
but i really need to erase those stupid thoughts.

yesterday was bad.
seriously.

i couldn't get to sleep.
was tossing and turning in my bed thousands of times.
thinking.
thinking.
and thinking.
thinking about the past.
and thinking stupid things.
finally, i started to cry.
crying.
crying real hard.
i couldn't control it.
and that was how i fell asleep.
crying.
crying myself to sleep.

that's only the beginning.

the nightmares....
they were horrible.
i woke up at 11.
sweating.
and really really freaked out.

><

gosh. when will all these end?

♥ MEL

5:24 AM

♥ Thursday, December 20, 2007

heyhey you!

holidays are not awesome when you hardly have people to sms.
ohkay. there are tons and tons of people in my phonebook.

i pick random few.
some reply once or twice and disappear.
some take days to reply one sms.
some don't even bother.

everyone heads up! christmas is on it's way!
are you feeling excited?
are you feeling happy?

or are you feeling like me?
all mixed up and confused once again.

i've told myself tons of times to stop thinking too much.
but i can't.

and i hate being the 'confused mel'.
no one likes confusion.
not me, that's for sure.

sigh. somehow, i gotta keep thinking about stupid things.
things that shouldn't impact me this much.
things that i shouldn't think of.

hmm. the world is not unfair.
it's the people making things unfair.

when you want something, you ask if you can have it.
but you're really shy.
and when you know you can have it, you pretend you don't really want it.
and months later, you want it back.
but the thing won't belong to you anymore.
and no matter how hard you try.
how hard you try to prove how much you love it,
it'll never come back.
never.
ever again.
and you wish you could stab yourself cos you let something go.
something you wanted.
something you loved.
something you shouldn't have let go off.
a foolish mistake you made.
caused this total confusion.

hmm. that applies to humans too, actually.

when you start to not treasure the people around you that much,
you're sure to regret.
really.

MUTUAL
that's a word i used to hate.
like someone would say:
A is my friend. and A is also your friend. A is a mutual friend.

or:
i love you so much and you love me back the equal amount.
this is called mutual love.

well. i didn't believe in mutuality (if that's what you call it)
haha.
really.
but now i disagree.
to the person i'm trying to get this message across to,
hope you know that this is for you.

mutual. can't we stay mutual?
mutual friendship.
both sides must commit.
i'm not asking you to marry me or whatever.
i just want a mutual friendship.
a friendship where both of us commit and our friendship last forever.
okay, maybe not forever.
but at least for now.
this whole thing has been on and off. and i really don't know why this should even happen ><

gosh. it's not hard being friends, okay?
you just gotta tell yourself you want this friendship to work out.
and yes, it will.

i've learnt alot this year.
thru friends, best friends, all kinds of friends.

i shall move on to next year happily.
hopefully.

to the person i'm reaching out to,
hope you're reading this and trying to understand how i feel.
broken friendships aren't easy to fix.
but we gotta try.
i'm already willing to try.
are you?

sayonara (:

♥ MEL

5:07 AM

♥ Wednesday, December 12, 2007

HEYHEY!

haha. how crazy in love can one get?
i'm head over heels in love with tokio hotel.
seriously.

hmm. i mean. the songs were rotting in my ipod.
then i went to listen.
now i can't stop.

gosh. when did i start finding german so sexy.
ohkay.... sounds wrong.
but nah, listen to them and you'll go crazy too.

i got 1000 meere as my ringtone. seriously.
haha ((:

this is a non-emo post. and i'm seeking a newer more cheerful blogskin.
hopefully one that's orange filled with giraffes ((:

see ya

♥ MEL

6:33 AM

♥ Sunday, December 02, 2007

I CAN'T FORGET THE TIMES I WAS LOST AND DEPRESSED

there is no need to feel depressed over stupid things
there is no need to feel stupid about myself.

i used to think i'm a sucker.
well, actually i still do.
but nah. haha. i'm getting a little weird.
like the mood swings are happening really often.

ohkay. i hate the word MOOD SWINGS.
cos i sort of link it to MOODY.
and moody ain't good.

i rather be HAPPY ((:

aha. i shall not feel emo.
even though sometimes i feel emo over nothing.

ARGH. my stupid brain.
it's always thinking about the stupidist things.

anyways. i'm full of inspiration today!

10 REASONS WHY CHIRSTMAS IS BAD

(1) what is wrapping paper made of? PAPER!
ahh. can't you see? we're killing the trees, wasting ink, electricity to print those colourful wrapping papers!
yesyes, they look nice when they are used to wrap presents and placed under the tree.
but once chirstmas is here and everyone collects their presents from santa,
they tear the wrapping paper away.
and throw it away!
total wastage of paper!

(2) we use fake trees. and ignore the real trees.
you know those plastic chirstmas trees you buy from malls?
yeah. so we're placing them in the house and neglecting the big trees outside.
then they die... lack of attention and loneliness.

(3) we don't use real trees. so... there will be more CO2 in the air.
global warming!
trees neglected, they die. increased surface run-off!
whoopie! i'm aplying my geog stuff here.

(4) we gather in a small area to sing christmas carols.
increased amount of carbon dioxide again. tsktsk.

(5) we spend money! money flies away real fast.

(6) there's this weird stranger with a big white beard and red and white suit in the house carrying a big sack.
oh no. you thought it was santa. it was actually a burgler carrying away all your valuables and your 42 inch plasma tv. GASP!

(7) you end up wearing red socks to school when the term starts.
mummy bought too many christmas stockings. and she's too lazy to spend the money and effort to buy proper white socks for you!

(8) you receive 10 photo frames or towels.
hey, isn't that what people like to give each other?

(9) you blame poor santa when you don't get that playstation or xbox you wanted really badly.

(10) you gotta act nice. santa doesn't like naughty kids right.
oh wait, if i act nice this christmas, i might get that iPod! haha
well, erm. does santa bring a polygraph wherever he goes? ><

ahh. and there are 3 ways to stop global warming.

(1) don't breathe. less carbon dioxide give out!
(2) discard your house. demolish it and plant trees. let's swing around like tarzan.
we shall change the name EARTH to TREELAND.
haha
(3) stop the emission of greenhouse gases. simple. don't put your plants in greenhouses!

hey, mel is a genius right.
okay, even if you don't find this funny. at least laugh.

><

♥ MEL

4:15 AM