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STARRY NIGHT

Friday, February 29, 2008

So, I've made up my mind
I will pretend to leave this world behind
And in the end, you'll know I've lied
To get your attention

I'm faking my own suicide
I'm faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just haven't realized
I'm faking my own suicide
They'll hold a double funeral
Because a part of you will die
Along with me
I wish you thought that I was dead
So rather than me, you'd be depressed instead
And before arriving at my grave
You'd come to the conclusion
You'd loved me all your days
But it's too lateToo late for you to say

Because I'm faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just haven't realized
I'm faking my own suicide
They'll hold a double funeral
Because a part of you will die
Along with me
I'll write you a letter that you'll keep
Reminding you your love for me is more than six feet deep
You say aloud that you would have been my wife
Right about that time is when I come back to life
And let you know
I'd let you know that all along
I was...

I was faking my own suicide
Because I know you loved me
You just never realized
I was faking my own suicide
I'll walk in that room and see your eyes opened so wide
Opened so wide
Because you know
Because you know you will never leave my side
Until the day that I die for the first time
And we'll laugh, yeah we'll laugh
And we will cry
So overjoyed with our love that's so alive
Our love is so alive

faking my own suicide by reliant k



some memories just cant go away....

i wonder why.


i want to forget about everything.
but somehow my brain chooses not to listen to me.

because im an idiot.


and i know YOU are a liar.
lies, false promises....

why am i always being so stupid?

the more i want to forget you, the more i think about you.

and goddamnit. im only 16.
im not supposed to be in love with someone like this.

i swear this has nothing to do with hormones.
it just.... has to do with this really nice guy....


ahh wells.
anyways,
faking my own suicide is the song of the day.
its stuck in my head.
and attached with it, is my dear friend.


i've told you who you are already.
and dont worry. im not in love with you.

even though one of the previous posts mentioned that all reliant k songs reminded me of the person i love.


to the person i love,
wont you give us a chance?
wont you let me in again?
wont you love me as much as you did before?



okay, readers.
you must think im a lovesick idiot.

yes i am. and i need a cure to this sickness.
i tried to distract myself with studies.
but noooo.........
i cant forget you.
and i cant stop thinking bout ya.



sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....


"stop living in the past, move on and have a happy future"

i've heard that phrase like a million times.

and i do not deny that i AM emo. and i should really stop being this way.
but the thing is.... how....?




trust me,
i dont wanna be emo.

look! i even changed blogskin!

HAH -_____-





tadeedoos

♥ MEL
11:45 PM



Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Climbing higher through the fire, time was running out
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive
But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.
Be strong. Believe.

Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day
Never fearing, only hearing voices calling out
Let it all go, the life that you know, just to bring them down alive
And you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

(Again today, we take into our hearts and minds those who
perished on this site one year ago, and also those who came
to toil in the rubble to bring order out of chaos, to help us
make sense of our despair)

Wanna hold my wife when I get home
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know how much I love to see them smile
Wanna make a change right here right now
Wanna live a life like you somehow
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day

(The world will little note, nor long remember what we say
here, but it can never forget what they did here)


believe by yellowcard

this song reminds me of you.
YOUYOUYOUYOU!

every yellowcard song reminds me of YOU!

MEL IS RETARDED AND CRAZY.

but have you ever thought about this....

okay, this only applies to those who currently is in love with someone you know will never accept you.
(or maybe yes, but in like 50millions years later -__________- )

ask yourself,
do you wish you could see him everyday?
do you wish he would call you everynight and tell you how fabulous you are?
do you wish he would spend more time with you?
and every second not with you, he'd be msging you?

OKAY.
maybe that only applies to me.
FINE FINE FINE FINE!

ARGH!
im stupid okay.
and i need to chop my head.



SOMEONE PLEASE TEACH ME TO BE HAPPY!!!!

I AM SO DAMN FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF.
DAMN IT.


i cant be a happy person without you around.
although i sound like a stupid fool madly in love with an ass -______-

okay.
the person im in love with is an asshole.
but well, love is blind.

and for god's sake.
i dont mean asshole as in really the hole of an ass
><


DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN


im going to move on.
im going to stop thinking about you.

















crap. i cant ><











terence! this blog is emo, i am emo. but im trying to change kay!
anyways, sad thing: i decided not to msg you unless i got alot of msges to spare. HAHA. well, cos you reply so short! ):



tadeedooos


PS: SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♥ MEL
5:56 AM


Sunday, February 24, 2008

If you only knew the pain
The pain I keep inside
The pain that makes me "me"
Then without it who am I
In a room with broken walls
I lay in scene and dreams
I want you to see
I'm cold and white
I'm holding on
I'll try to breathe for you
I'm crying out
I'm singing loud
You could be all I need
And I'm losing my will
Just to hold you in
I'm giving up the hope
That you could have been the one
To save me from me
And now our lips will meet
and i'll taste their defeat
I'll give in this once
I'm cold and white
I'm holding on
I'll try to breath for you
I'm crying out
I'm singing loud
You could be all I need
Still I know I'll carry on
Guide me through the life I lost
To find these faults in me...
To find these faults in me
I'm cold and white
I'm holding on
I'll try to breath for you
I'm crying out
I'm singing loud
You could be all I need
I'm cold and white
I'm holding on
I'll try to breath for you
I'm crying out
I'm singing loud
You could be all I need
To save me from me



Save me from me by Amber Pacific




MEL IS NOT EMO.

really really really really....

sy,
why you dont believe me....!
must be cos you jealous of my 老公 <3 face="arial" size="4">HAHAHAHA.


anyways....
i think im turning emo again.
i was thinking about stupid stuff yesterday.

whats the point of living in this world thats so horrible?
what is the point of breathing, eating, shitting and sleeping?
why is emo bad? whats wrong with slashing your wrist?
or jabbing your leg with a screwdriver?

screwdrivers are cool.
you jab them into your leg and you can go around saying
"LOOK! IM SCREWED" brilliant huh.

emo hair is good.
emo fringe is sexy.
cover up your eyes and no one knows what your eyes are saying.

okay. forget it.
im EMO.

i admit it okay.
marc, you HAPPY now?
HAHA.
this is retarded.

mel is emo.
mel is crazy.
mel is stupid.
mel MUST DIE!!!!

cos i never get the stuff i want i never get anything i want.
practically NOTHING goes my way.
and when theres a twist of fate and something comes my way....
only a statement to describe it
"NOTHING LASTS FOREVER"

theres this song thats really nice.
its called "goodbye, goodnight for good"
ALESANA.
one of the nicest hardcore band with a vocalist that can sing pretty well.
well, he screams well too =D

HAHA.

am i not making sense again? -_-



songs of the day:

(1) 4 words (to choke upon) - bullet for my valentine

(2) stop - plain white t's

(3) smile in your sleep - silverstein

(4) how to feel real - armor for sleep

(5) lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes - panic! at the disco [hinthint: new album coming out =D ]

You Should Play the Drums
You are often hyper, restless, and full of a little too much zeal.
However, people may be surprised to know that you can focus your energy well.

You are driven and engaged enough to be a great drummer... and you have the stamina to practice for hours.
In fact, when you can channel your energy productively, it only increases!

You are independent and spirited... but also consistent. You can definitely keep the beat.
You work well in a group and contribute heartily - without needing to take the lead.

Your dominant personality characteristic: your aggression

Your secondary personality characteristic: your precision



I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU


tadeedoos ((:



♥ MEL
12:19 AM


Saturday, February 23, 2008

BOO YA!
HELLO to you crazy people reading my blog!
haha. nah. just kidding. kinda high today.

no mood for long emo post.
so i decided to do stupid tests. have fun reading....
(if you're crazy enough)


Your Love is Based on Affection
Your need for love is very primal and basic. You can't imagine living without love.
And for you, love is something that's best expressed through touch.
You're always up for a hug or a cuddle. And you feel a bit rejected when you don't get enough affection.
Whether you're sharing a blanket or sharing an order of fries, you thrive when you're close to the person you love.

Why your love can last: You express your love freely and frequently

Why your love can fail: You can come off as clingy, and this freaks people out
What Is Your Love Based On?




Your Personality is 60% Addictive
You may have an addictive personality, but you have it mostly under check.
Just don't start any new bad habits, okay?
Do You Have an Addictive Personality?




You Have Him Totally Hooked
Your guy is all yours - and happily so.
He loves being around you, and he totally sees you as a couple.
It looks like you two have a great future together - if you want it!
Do You Have Him Hooked?




Guys Think You're Easy... Maybe Too Easy
You're a very sexy woman. The problem is, every guy you meet knows it.
You can't help but put your sexuality out there for everyone to see (and sometimes sample).
And while some guys love this approach, it scares off some good prospects.
Save some of your seductive tricks for the right guy. He'll appreciate it more!
Are You An Easy Girl?


err.... i think thats really bad ><
People Envy Your Compassion
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
What Do People Envy About You?




Your Emoticon Is Laughing
You've got a wicked sense of humor. You're everyone's favorite IM buddy... at least today!
What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?




You Are Confident Sexy
You're one sexy chica, and you know it.
You've got the confidence to strut your stuff...
And approach any man who happens to catch your eye.
You may make a guys run away, but the true men will appreciate your moxie.
What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?



You are a Rocker Girl!
If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's.
Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know.
Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime.
Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!
What Kind of Girl Are You?



You Should Get a Rose Tattoo
Sexy and classic
You are pure rock and roll. You party hard. So does your tattoo.
What Tattoo Should You Get?




based on all tests, i guess you guys think im insane.
taking so many tests with weird results.
ZZZZ.

haha.

not to mention my retarded new blog url


TADEEDOOOOS


♥ MEL
6:20 AM


Sunday, February 17, 2008

We should get jerseys ‘cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine,
cause you're out of my league
And I know that it's so cliché to tell you that
everyday I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealously, they can see that
we've got it going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way

To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You’re ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen
If anyone can make me a better person you could

All I got to say is
I must have done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I got to say is
I must have done something right
I must have done something right
Maybe I'm just lucky ‘cause it's hard to believe

Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliché to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way

To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You’re ok with the way this is going to be ’
Cause this is going to be the best thing we've ever seen
If anyone can make me a better person you could

All I got to say is
I must have done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I got to say is
I must have done something right
I must have done something right
(Oh’s with bop’s)
If anyone can make me a better person you could

All I got to say is
I must have done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I got to say is
I must have done something right
I must have done something right
If anyone can make me a better person you could

All I got to say is
I must have done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I got to say is
I must have done something right
I must have done something right
I must have done something right
I must have done something right


must have done something right by reliant k


the song that is really really sentimental to me.
cos it was the song i was listening to when something really really happy happened.
my close friends, you know how much it means to me, dont ya? (:

well, im hoping that special someone will read this.
the one who made me happy on that saturday night.
the special night i'll never forget....

err.....
sounds wrong.but erm....
dont think wrongly.
heh.


so.... here goes:

heyy. if you're reading this,

(i have a feeling you do read my blog)
i just wanted you to know.
i think about you.
ALOT.
valentines' day is over.
and i didnt get to make you mine that day.but well....
"i just wanted you to know.
i think about you everynight when i fall asleep
you were in my dreams,
just like in a movie.
the one you wanna see,
with a happy ending"
you mean alot to me and i dont wanna lose you.
"i need you here. i need you now. i need security somehow"

this is stupid.

regardless of how many times i call myself stupid,
and how many times some GENIUS say im not,
(eh. marc, proud to see yourself featured?)
i still am and will always be STUPID -______-


end of story.


emo songs are good.
emo songs make you feel better.
forget your pain temporarily.

today is reliant k day!
(for me, that is)
and i got couple of songs to recommend.
(1) must have done something right

(2) life after death and taxes
(3) faking my own suicide
(4) the one i'm waiting for
(5) i need you
(6) which to bury, us or the hatchet


let me tell you something freaky
i was playing with my ipod.
then i pressed "shuffle songs"
so the song 'beautiful soul' began blasting.
and i starting singing to it.
everyword correct.
and i dont know how i could remember everything.


AHHH......


PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT:

I DO NOT HAVE A HWA CHONG BOYFRIEND!
seriously, i swear.what makes you think i have, man?><

anyways, replies to tags.
(something that i havent done in a long time cos i've been obsessed about scolding myself stupid)

raylia-- HELLO!


marc-- hello friend. happy vday to you too. though this is kinda late d: haha

mabel-- HELLO! =D i didnt go out on any date in the end ): how sad.


isaac-- friend! long time no talk! sorry i ignored you for soooo long! haha. happy vday to you! and as for my life.... err. i think you can tell by reading my emo posts? HAHA.





MEL IS NOT EMO.





tadeedooos


♥ MEL
3:21 AM


Sunday, February 10, 2008

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...


stop and stare by one republic

i dont understand why EMO is such a big deal.
oh yes, everyone has their up and downs.
some people have more downs than ups (example: ME)
but who cares about emo....?
if im emo, just leave me be!
i dont need counselling.
i dont need help.
i dont need to commit suicide.

being emo is to take some time off everything else
sit down in a dark room.
blast hardcore and depressing songs.
and hope the woes go away.

emo does not mean to kill yourself.
it does not mean slash your wrist and stab your leg.

having a penknife in your pencil box everyday does not mean you're emo.
drawing emo pictures does not mean you're emo.
writing emo lyrics all over your notebook does not mean you're emo.

i am not emo.
thats for sure.
if i were emo, would i still be here....?
i would have killed myself like a long long time ago.

sighh.
life is confusing.
life is stupid.
life is nonsensical.

and if you understand what im saying,
cos im typing loads of nonsense here,
YOU'RE A GENIUS!

WOW.
arent you like really really excited now?
-________-

ich bin da! rette mich. liebe mich....

why do things always go wrongly.
i want to shout at myself to stop thinking.

i dont wanna think of you everyday.
i dont want to talk to you everyday.
i dont ever want to see you again.
i dont want to mention you again.

but those are lies.
LIES.
for liars.
yes.
im accusing you a liar.
[err.... people, if you dont know who im talking about, then forget it and dont make wrong guesses >< ]


i think of you everyday.
i talk about you everyday.
i want to talk to you everyday.
i want to see you everyday.
i want to give you a hug so big you dont ever wanna let go.
but this is stupid.
its impossible.
its not possible at all.
im being crazy.
wasting brain cells thinking of all these nonsense.
im stupid.
wasiting my time.

what if....
what if you gave me a second glance.
what if you talked to me again.
what if you gave me a chance.

RETARDED PEOPLE TYPE RETARDED THINGS.
so....
ahh wells....
stop thinking about it.
lets put all this crap aside temporarily.

anyways anyways anyways....
do you find that somehow when you're typing on the computer, you talk in a different manner compared to typing an sms?
and when you type an sms,
its different from when you're talking to the person face to face?
that happens to me.
when im talking on msn,
its a mixture of perfect english and crazy retarded language depends on who im talking to
when im typing blog posts, like now,
im using very little singlish or no singlish at all.
when im typing an sms,
its a mixture of perfect english sentences,
lots of singlish and some crazy retarded language.
but when im talking to people,
the whole scenario changes.
to certain people,
i use perfect english with no singlish at all.
to some others,
singlish keep coming out and i cant control.
isnt it weird?

life is a weird thing.
weird things happen that make life weird.
and funny things happen that make us think that is weird and life is weird.
and you're probably reading this and laughing to yourself saying,
"mel is so funny. typing all these nonsense. how weird. well, the world is weird afterall"

-______-

ohh.
if anyone needs emo paintings or drawings,
can come find me.
i'll be more than glad to draw for you.
expressing pain thru the paintbrush.
ahh....
how nice huh....
but heyy, dont worry.
mel aint gonna be an emo kid.
i am going to be happy.
smiling and cheerful 24\7.

and mel better stop lying to herself


-.-


tadeedoos

why cant you love me like you used to........






p.s: to the idiot who keeps saying im an ah lian.
yeshh larhhs. ii l0ourbbed euu 2 deathh larhx kayyx. muaxx muaxx.
miss euu loads & loads & loads worhhx. tinking of euu now


-________- this is known as a hair raising experience. an attempt to type like this ><

♥ MEL
2:05 AM


Friday, February 01, 2008

I shouldn't love you
But I want to

I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
But I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you,
But I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
But I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make the feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to
Be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to have the feelings?
And look the other way
And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know
How to make the feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
Just gotta say it all before I go.
(Just so you know)
This emptiness is killing me
I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there
Just never spoken I'm waiting here
Been waiting here
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
Just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
(Whoa, Just so you know,Whoa, Thought you should know)
I tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
Just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
Just so you know


just so you know by jesse mccartney


this is a song i used to hate.
the song i cant stand.


but when i listened to it,

suddenly the words seem different.
i still feel emo listening to this.
but now i think i can stand it.
and the greatest nightmare of all....
i went "aww. so fast end" when the song ended ><

goshh. what is wrong with me....

i wake up hourly every morning.
thinking about you.
i cant get you off my head.
and i know we cant be together.
but i just cant forget you....

whats wrong with the world.
whats wrong with me.

if only there wasnt such a thing as love and pain

reminds me of a song that makes me wanna cry.
"what hurts the most"
sometimes you listen to songs that seems to reflect your life so coincidentally.
you listen to it over and over again, never getting sick of it.

sighh. when will this torture end....

i never planned on getting so involved in my non-existent love life ><
i tell everyone "yes. this year is the big Os. im going to study hard and not get involved in anything"
im not lying. but feelings are hard to control.

when you see your eye candy walking down the street.
you're tempted to say hi and start a conversation.
but you dont know if that eye candy has an eye candy of his own.
and you dont know what he likes to talk about.
and you dont know whether you're being an irritating goondoo whos gonna piss him off

shit. im sick of typing crap.
and im sick of being emo.

this blogskin aint emo.
its just..... black....?
and its tokio hotel.

so people, stop calling me an emo kid.
cos im trying my best to stay happy regardless of how "optimistic" i seem to be.

OHH. and maybe buy me the panic! at the disco newest album.
i bet that'll cheer me up.
hah! thats for sure.

nah. just kidding. im a retarded crazy love-sick idiot who doesnt know what i want and how to prioritise between studies and emotions.
zzzz


RETTE MICH!!!!

tadeedoos

♥ MEL
6:28 AM