won't you love me too. it's as simple as that ♥

♥ Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I swear that you dont have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow,
to wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your armsand spend every moment I have with you
stay up all night with the stars
confess all the faith that I had in you
I had in you
Too late, im sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
For heavens sake
I know you're sorry
but you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know im dying, with my heart beside me
in shattered pieces that may never be replaced
and if I died right now, you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart, together would find us an opening
and moonlight would provide the spark
and that i would stumble across the key,
or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me and you'd help me out of the dark
and id give my heart as an offering
Too late, im sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
For heavens sake I know you're sorrybut you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know im dying, with my heart beside me
in shattered pieces that may never be replacedand if I died right now, you'd never be the same
and I will always remember you as you are right now to me
and I will always remember you now remember you now
So sleep alone tonightwith no one here just by your side
sleep alone tonight
how does he feel
how does he kiss
how does he taste while hes on your lips
I cant forget you
I know you want me to want you
i want to
But i cant forget you so when this is over dont blow your composure baby
I cant forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to...

Three Cheers For Five Years by mayday parade

i really dont know what to post today.

goth/rocker
your a goth or rocker, like the heavy metal bands or maby softer, baggy jeans and tops or gothic gear, loud but in a good way, stay that way ignore other kids

yeah, thats the result of a stupid quiz i took today.
like, hell.
im only emo inside.
i dont show it on the outside.

Outgoing
Your dream partner should possess the quality of an outgoing person. They should be someone who isn't afraid to say or do anything! They are very surprising and you'll never know what they'll do next.

ohh,
if you fit that description,
call me =.=
err, i was kidding

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

this is called boredom.
okay, i seriously am very bored.

all my inspirations are gone.
and honestly, all i wanna do is talk on the phone and catch up with couple of friends.

sighh.....

scared of screwing up exams again.

three words in my mind now
"DIE"
"CUT"
"DAMNED"

FREAKSHOW!

toodles

ps: this is not an emo post.
neither is this an emo blog.
bloody hell.

♥ MEL

9:56 PM

♥ Sunday, April 20, 2008

2 a.m., I lie down deep in slumber
Feelings of falling downward
I want to forget.
Waking up, I hear the way your voice sounds
My heart starts to pound now,
To the rhythm of yours.
You're so angelic,
Your words so symphonic
Touch your lips to my soul, eat this sorrow away
How am I so lucky I found you?
Sometimes I feel like I'm still dreaming
It seems like every day, you're always on my mind
This is how we stay so connected, so connected,
Over space and time.
When we talk about all my old drama,
You look at me and wonder, how I'm not insane.
Every week the days seem to get longer
But you know our love gets stronger,
with every word we say.
Stronger every day
You know I would do anything, for you.
Sometimes I feel like I'm still dreaming
It seems like every day, you're always on my mind
This is how we stay so connected, so connected,
Over space and time.
If you are feeling down, you know I feel it now
We give each other strength to make it through the darkness
You take me to a place, I never want to leave
I'm in my deepest dream, I don't ever want to wake up
I'll fight till I die, I won't say goodbye, and I won't let this pass me by.
Sometimes I feel like I'm still dreaming
It seems like every day, you're always on my mind
This is how we stay so connected, so connected
Over space and time.
Let's run away, run away, run away now
Let's go away, go away to some place safe.
I want it all now, I want everything
This is how we stay so connected, so connected
Over space and time

Still Dreaming by Silverstein

i sleep on a bed with two pillows, four bolster
and of course,
my favourite small bolster that i've been using since i was a baby

all that sentimental shit.
ahh wells.

that was completely random, i admit.
but how can you not be random on days you want to kill yourself?

you might be asking why i'm posting such a redundant and nonsensical post on such a wet and dark and gloomy day.

not forgetting the fact, exams are just a blink of an eye away.

which is like.... so soon \=

okay, about the change of url situation.

erm, i sorta have to change url whenever someone i don't want reading my blog suddenly finds my blog and reads it.

well, not that i bitch about her.
but still, i don't like the feeling she's reading my blog.

and according to colin, my blog's really ambiguous huh.
well, yeah.
cos i don't wanna state the person's name.

hmm, well....
just take it that i wanna stay mysterious?
or i wanna protect the person's identity?

i still can't get that paramore song out of my head.

and that fking SUCKS.

what would you do,
if you just can't stop thinking about someone you don't want to miss.

but that person is just THERE.
that person can't just disappear from the surface of the Earth unless you kill him.

reminiscing the past sucks.
really.

and you can't blame me.
today's a gloomy and emo-ish day.
so,

i sit in my room.
door closed.
lights all off.
silverstein's playing from my music player.

i think about the past 4 years.
and please, i didn't think anything about my studies.
not all that "think about your 4years in cedar" crap.

i was thinking about what i've done with my life so far.

and i feel like i've been eating trash.
done so many stupid things i don't have enough fingers to count.
got into emotional entanglements, friendship problems,
family problems, and even thoughts about suicide.

well, all guys don't like emo girls.
and all girls don't like their girl friend to be emo too.

so well,
call me emo, hardcore or even STUPID.
i don't care.

cos i do admit i am.
and i am what i am.
so don't try to change me.

and thank you, marc.
for always being there for me.
and encouraging me not be emo.
but i'm sorry.
your friend here can't be saved.
in the meanwhile, do have fun with life ((:
and stop worrying about me.
i won't cut myself anymore! (:

ohh....
there's actually a long list of people to thank.

like my friend aka bro#5, mr. reuben, who hasn't been tagging on my blog in a long time.
and so many more....

hmm, i feel really sorry about letting down a couple of people.
well, i'm sure you know who you are.

and i decided that books are always the reason why people break up.
as in, at this age.

think about this, is breaking up really that hard?

i watch my friends dumping each other cos of books.

"i'm sorry we can't be together. cos i really wanna put studies first"
"i'm sorry we can't be together. time is so tight. and i have so much to do, so much homework"
"i'm sorry we can't be together. exams are here. i really wanna focus on studies"
"i'm sorry we can't be together. cos i get really distracted when i'm with you"
"I'M REALLY SORRY WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER. I'M AFRAID OF DISTRACTING YOU FROM YOUR STUDIES."

honestly, more than half of that are excuses.

fking excuses.

after reading those, do you still think breaking up is hard.

fuck yeah, its easy like shit, ain't it?
all you have to do is put on a fking innocent face.
and say either one of the stupid excuses in the person's face.

or maybe even worse,
you call up the person.
you SMS the person.

bloody hell, it definitely sucks.

if you haven't experienced that, you're a lucky ass.

conclusion: DO NOT FALL IN LOVE.

oh wait, am i sounding overly spiteful?
cos that's totally not intended.
i'm just stating from what i have seen....
and partly, what i've experienced.

so come'n,
if you wanna break up with a person next time,
do it with sincerity.
and do not ever use "studies" or "books" as an excuse.

maybe someday if you see your ex on the streets you could ask him
"hey, how's your new girlfriend?"
then he'll give you the stupid look and say "i don't have one"
then maybe you could laugh in his face.
"Fking liar. where are your books?"

okay, that was uber lame.

but well, that's fact.

life is full of misery.
and misery loves company doesn't it.

ahh wells.

anyways, it's
SILVERSTEIN day!

i love silverstein.
and their songs (du-uh!)

recommended songs:
(1) Love With Caution
(2) Still Dreaming
(3) My Heroine
(4) Smile In Your Sleep
(5) Bodies and Words
(6) If You Could See Into My Soul

all silverstein songs.
ENJOY! =D

toodles ((:

♥ MEL

2:02 AM

♥ Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I think that I'm missing something
A subtle target on my heart
I think that I'm missing someone
And that someone is you
I want you right here
I want you right now
You want me you got me
Right here right now
Take a step back tell me what you wanted
Falling of the deep end feeling guilty as charged
Bullets are scene

Bullets Are Scene by Drop Dead, Gorgeous.

my current favourite band.
and those dumb asses who continue insulting the brilliance of drop dead, gorgeous, fk off.

nah.
im not that mean.

anyways, have you had times when you think of a person.
two persons in fact.
and then suddenly they contact you.

you havent kept in touch with those two people in AGES.
and suddenly they look you up.
say hi.
and a conversation begins.

yesterday,
in school, i was missing someone.
real badly.

then after school,
i decided that the person i was missing aint worth it,
so i started missing another person.

when i got home, turned on my com,
POP!
those two people clicked on me and started talking to me.

i really dont know how to describe how i felt at that time.
shock.
awe.
overwhelmed happiness.

zzzz.
stupid thing is,
there is one of them i shouldnt be thinking about.

and thats freaking stupid.

recently loads of weird things been happening to me.
i think of someone and that person pops out in front of me.

well, i wouldnt complain.
cos things have been rather much going my way.

BUT.
its never enough.

the things i want, i never get.
but in the meantime,
the things that are important yet not so important keep coming my way.

i dont know whether to rejoice or cry.
but well.
the feeling of being all mixed up and shit.
its back.
its freaking back.

fuck this world man.
this world is complicating.
and everything's so unpredictable.

i really wish things could just follow a more consistent pattern.
something not so bizarre.

FREAKSHOW.
i got 7 out of 8 for chem quiz and i failed Amath test.
FKING HELL.

bleah....

toodles ((:

♥ MEL

12:26 AM

♥ Friday, April 04, 2008

I'm holding on, waiting for your call.
It's simple, but I can't explain this.
I'm sinking down; I feel like I could die.
I'm falling off; I don't know why.
I still believe it when you say
It's another perfect day,
Another perfect day.
I still believe it when you say
It's another perfect day,
Another perfect day.
So I might try to leave it all behind.
I know tomorrow's not so bright now.
I'll say goodbye 'cause nothing good can last.
You wear and fade; you're nowhere fast.
But today, I don't know how to keep it all inside,
But I guess I'll let it slide.
I still believe it when you say
It's another perfect day,
Another perfect day.
I still believe it when you say
It's another perfect day,
Another perfect day.
Today, I don't know why,
I thought that it was real,
But I guess it's no big deal.
I still believe it when you say
It's another perfect day,
Another perfect day.
I still believe it when you say
It's another perfect day,
Another perfect day.
I don't know how.
I don't know how.
I don't know how to let it slide.
Another Perfect Day by American Hi-fi

this song....
is a really sad song.
and talking about American Hi-fi,
whenever i hear that band name,
i'm reminded of my friend.

the one who clicked on me on msn.
and asked me a random question"do you like American Hi-fi?"
and that question made us really good friends ((:
i like that question and i'm glad i made that friend.
hey, you know who you are ((:

I LOVE DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS.

and those stupid fools who dont love drop dead, gorgeous like i do,
you guys are missing out the awesome music man.

recently been checking out lotsa new music.
exploring music.sounds a cool term huh.
LOLS

been listening to metallica, nightwish, aiden and paramore.
only ONE paramore song though.

i don't like paramore.
cos normally i can't stand females singers.
and only one paramore song got me addicted.
ahh wells.
go guess on your own =.=

oh. and right now as im typing,
my itunes is on shuffle mode.
and its been playing about 6 nightwish songs in a row!

have you ever wondered how amusing itunes is?
its like,
sometimes when im feeling sad,
they will start playing anberlin.
and that totally suits my mood.
when i'm emo,
alesana starts playing.
its kinda freaky.
but i love itunes ((:

SUICIDE NOTES AND BUTTERFLY KISSES =D

dear friends,

i will not cut myself.
i will not commit suicide.
i will not implant those funny silicon stuff into my arms as a form of art.
i will not chop off my nose when i have a runny nose.
i will not slash my leg.
i will not sniff glue.
i will not jump off a building.
i will not stand in the middle of the road to be knocked down.
i will not jump into the sea with a huge rock to drown myself.
i will not eat grass and hope to die of poisoning.
i will not binge on food then vomit out.
i will not weigh my vomit or cut out my flesh.
i will not eat pills.
i will not starve myself or force myself to eat salad.
i will not emo in my room everynight.
i will not burn myself.
i will not lie to myself.
i will not bite myself.
i will not do stupid things.
i will not throw my life away.
i will think about dying.
i will not hate myself.

fuck. i think i hate secondhand serenade.
makes me wanna cry EVERYTIME.

vulnerable:
"tell me tell me what makes you think that you are invincible"
"please don't tell me that i'm the only one that's vulnerable"
"i can't go on without you"

your call:
"i was born to tell you i love you"
"i was torn to do what i have to"
"to make you mine, stay with me tonight"
"i'm tired of being all alone."
"all these solitary moments make me want to come back home"

broken:
"is this broken? can we work it out?"
"let's light up this town, scream out loud"
"you're ready to break"
"don't look away"
i was crazy bout this song after a stupid breakup sometime back.

ahh......
lyrics are interesting.
meant for romantic people.
not me =.=
i'm sorry,
if any secondhand serenade fans are reading this

freakshow.
now i'm feeling sentimental again.
3 secondhand serenade songs in a row.
wtf.

okayy....

i'm only into HARDCORE.
and i love the song My Heroine by silverstein.
it's damn cool.
i love the line
"you taught my heart a sense i never knew i had"

HATE.
i love that word.
HATE.
I HATE YOU.
I HATE THIS WORLD.
I HATE MYSELF.

genius huh!
repeat that 10times and you become me
=.=

okay.
i'm starting to find itunes really irritaing.
4th secondhand serenade song already!
so, genius me clicks the next button.
and guess what.
buckcherry.
the song 'sorry'

"baby the way you make my world go round"

eeeeeek.
if someone says that to me, i'd be so....
+.+
words can't describe the feeling.

this seems to be a very long post.
i've been staring at the clock for awhile.
why doesn't the minute hand seem to be moving?!

"oh-oh.... how could you do it?
oh-oh.... i never saw it coming.
oh-oh.... i need an ending.
so why can't you stay,
long enough to explain"
guess the stupid song that's playing on itunes now =.=

i'm getting really bored.
and i just discovered interesting english.

the nice word SHIT.
there are many meanings of shit and many ways of using it.
(1) it can be used to describe things.
like "what kind of shit is this?"
(2) it is a term to describe the faeces of someone.
like "there's shit in the toilet bowl"
(3) not to forget, it can be used as a verb.
like "i need to shit." or "she had to shit"
oh. and don't forget something important.
plural form is SHITS.
for example, "Mary shits on her little lamb"
not to mention, tenses are very important also okay!

ring rang rung
sing sang sung

so.... for 'shit'....

SHIT SHAT SHUT

there is no such thing as shitted.

boy, this is freaking lame.
my itunes hanged awhile ago.
cos i was trying to transfer 6 albums into my ipod >_<
and i deleted sooooooooooooo many albums.
cos there's no space!

AHH.
BUY ME AN IPOD!
someone please.

i'm getting a horrible migraine.
too many proposals to rush.
so busy.
so many things to do.
so little time to myself.
hardly anytime to emo also =.=

anyways,
songs of reccomendation for today:
(1) smells like teen spirit - nirvana
(2) this is the new shit - marilyn manson
(3) master passion greed - nightwish
(4) amaranth - nightwish
(5) forever scarlet - drop dead, gorgeous
(6) bullets are scene - drop dead, gorgeous
(7) the show must go on - drop dead, gorgeous
(8) E.R - drop dead, gorgeous
(9) donner party of five - drop dead, gorgeous
(10) dressed for friend requests - drop dead, gorgeous

check them all out =D
awesome songs.
couple of them on my imeem playlist.

toodles! ((:

♥ MEL

7:13 AM