You change your mind Like a girl changes clothes Yeah you, PMS Like a bitch I would know And you always think Always speak Crypticly I should know That you're no good for me Cause you're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up You, You don't really want to stay, no You, but you don't really want to go-o You're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down We used to be Just like twins So in sync The same energy Now's a dead battery Used to laugh bout nothing Now your plain boring I should know that you're not gonna change Cause you're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up You, You don't really want to stay, no You, but you don't really want to go-o You're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down Someone call the doctor Got a case of a love bi-polar Stuck on a roller coaster Can't get off this ride You change your mind Like a girl changes clothes Cause you're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up You're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down You're wrong when it's right It's black and it's white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up You, you don't really want to stay, no You, but you don't really want to go-o You're hot then you're cold You're yes then you're no You're in and you're out You're up and you're down
HOT N COLD by KATY PERRY
damn it. im sick of everything. and no one's going to force me to eat. not that i dont want to, but i cant.
im really glad my cousin was here today. to make me laugh. and tell me funny things. he listened while i ranted out on alot of nonsense. and im grateful for that.
i need chocolate.
and i was thinking about why anyone should even like me. like, im not very nice. maybe only to some people. but i guess im rather mean towards the rest. sheesh ): unintentional! i say alot of stupid things too. stupid things that anger and piss people off when i totally didnt intend for that to happen. im ugly. i dont have a sense of humour and im probably brainless.
DO YOU EVEN CARE FOR ME?
do people even care for me?
i ask myself that, over and over again. until i become emo. and everything i feel alright again, i think of those stuff again.
listen hard, MEL DOES NOT WANT TO BE EMO. but her current fucking situation is turning into a fucking freakshow. and im so sorry im using so many vulgarities. but im really really fucking pissed.
with myself.
im not angry at anyone. i dont blame anyone. i just know, im inferior. i feel uncared for.
i know some people do care. but of course, they care for themselves first.
MEL IS ALWAYS ON THE LAST OF THE LIST.
like right now, if i was being cared for, people would be calling me to go down to eat more cos i only had two fucking mini sausages for dinner. and thats cos my fucking hatred for myself has caused me to lose my appetite.
I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF.
then people say, if you dont love yourself, people wont love you.
yeah, maybe thats why the whole world fucking hates me. thats why im always down on luck. thats why i dont have anyone to talk RIGHT NOW. im sick of all these shit.
you steal my heart. then tear it into half and throw one half at me. thats what i feel. i feel like im left hanging with no answer. the feeling i had last time. a feeling i really hate.
why do people like to torture me so much. am i really that fun to hate?
ahh, im not going to commit suicide. commiting suicide is dumb. im not going to cut myself, like in my foolish past. im not going to do stupid things.
i've got beer in the fridge and few bottles of wine. maybe its time to just get drunk. and stop thinking for the next few days.
BUT I CANT.
goddamn it! what the fuck is wrong with me. im so irritated im typing so fast and loudly. my stupid keyboard is going to spoil.
AND I SWEAR ITS NOT PMS. pms doesnt make me feel like this. PMS dont make people hate themselves.
and for fuck's sake, i repeat to myself constantly. its christmas, soon.
do i like christmas? yes. then why the fuck am i feeling so screwed up.
i swear, its nobody's fault.
its all mine.
i hate myself. and i always will.
this is the fucking third post of the day. and i dont give a fuck what you think about them. call me stupid or crazy or emo. i dont care. im just tired of living. each day is a pain.
its my fault. all my fault.
i blame no one else but myself.
and its time to stuff myself with junk. junk = rubbish = mel. heh, see the link? im full of rubbish.
I HATE MYSELF
♥ MEL
5:15 AM
ME ♥
MEL THE GREAT ♥
how many great people on earth do you know?
MELMELMEL ♥
17yo.
09.01.1992.
pei chun public school. class of 2004.
cedar girls seconday school. class of 2008.
anderson junior college. class of 2010.
