won't you love me too. it's as simple as that ♥

♥ Thursday, December 18, 2008

I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth this

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

Yeah, he's a looker but I really think it's guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you.
Strung out about from coast to coast.
I am easily make believe.
Just dress me up in what you want me to be.
I'll take back what I've been saying,
For quite some time now.
I've gotta feel you in my bones again.
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again.
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
In my daydreams, in my sleep,
Infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
But you never seem to have enough.
I've gotta feel you in my bones again.
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again.
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short,
To get caught up in all this stuff,
When I just want you to love me back.
Why can't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?
(Why can't you, why can't you?)
Why can't you just love me back?
(Why can't you, why can't you?)
Why can't you just love me back?
(Why can't you, why can't you just love?)
I've gotta feel you in my bones again.
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again.
(Just one more time.)
This life is way too short,
To get caught up and all mixed up,
When I just want you to love me back.
Why cant you just love me back?
Why won't you just love me back?
Why can't you just love me back?

ALL OVER YOU by THE SPILL CANVAS

are you content with your life?
NO.

do you know how to make your life better?
NO.

do you know how to make people happy?
NO.

are you happy?
NO.

when can those answers change to YES?
and goddamnit,
im not going to watch YES MAN in cinemas.

but for sure,
if you asked me,
"if you were given a chance to turn back time, would you?"
my answer is YES.

thats because
i feel 16 years of life has been screwed

have i been nice to people?
maybe yes maybe no.
I DONT KNOW.

i've been thinking about people who care for me.
i treat five of my friends as best friends.
but i think only 3 of them treat me as best friends.

they say best friends you make in primary and secondary school wont last.
well,
i dont know.
i hope they can be life-long friends.
i really hope so....

anyway,
i was thinking about my life thoroughly today.

STUDY/WORK LIFE:
i have no income.
and i so far saved up 300$ for my iPhone.
my parents promised to pay the rest.
but still,
im left with 40$ from now till end of january.

i had a dream....
last night.
not the martin luther king kind.
but a real dream.
yeah ._.
i dreamt i got b4 for english.
CHOY!

but yeah,
that kinda got me worried about my 'O' level results ):

SOCIAL LIFE:
i have friends who care.
but like i told reuben,
im 2% nice and 98% bitch (:

i dont have a right to judge or criticise people.
do i deserve care from these people?

am i really being nice to them?
or is this all a facade?

okay,
i dont consider myself a fake.
cos most of the time im brutally and tactlessly honest.
and it hurts people's feelings.
sheesh,
but im trying to improvise on that.
trust me,
i really wanna be a better person.

LOVE LIFE:
ahh....
the most complicating of all.
and goddamn it.
why cant i just turn lesbian?
sheesh,
thats a really stupid thing to say.
and definitely a stupid solution to solving love problems.

anyway,
i think it retarded to stalk an ex.
seriously.
i used to do that.
i was crazy about that guy a year ago.
and after a tragic split,
i stalked his friendster and online diary.
he was over me.
but i wasnt over him.
till maybe a year later.
sheesh,
its so goddamned retarded man.
thinking back,
why did i do that?
its a waste of time.
instead of letting go,
i held on to a pathetic memory that got me nowhere.
so advice of the day:
DONT STALK YOUR EX.
its so fucking pathetic.

and the easiest word to describe my love life is also
SCREWED UP.
cos no one believes i can handle a long term relationship.
everyone thinks i play people's feelings.
maybe i do.
MAYBE.
but then again,
im not that crazy!
come on man,
breaking people's heart is never easy.
im not heartless.
i have a heart that palpitates 24/7!

wont anyone believe i really try? ):

im mentally sick.
or turning mentally sick.

im starting to say crazy things.
do crazy things.
erm, i never tried eating cockroaches or whatever.
but im just going mad.

not to forget,
friends are going overseas.
my room is an asylum
i stare at four walls everyday
and i'll go crazy.

fuck,
this post so emo.
i ought to stab myself.

we stumble upon obstacles everyday of our lives.
be it a financial crisis, health problem, or a fear of killing ants.
we should persevere and live life to the fullest.

if only i had the will....

so much for my happy ending

♥ MEL

4:14 AM