won't you love me too. it's as simple as that ♥

♥ Friday, January 30, 2009

And I just can't get over you
Since you've been gone
I fall apart
I knew you'd leave me from the very start
Tell me again just what you want from me
It's separation anxiety

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of a head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like some thing's just aren't the same
What could I say?
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get my by
I'll need a little more help than a little bit
Like a perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by this time
I'm staring up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did
Or was I always in the way
Could someone tell me what to say
To just make you stay
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get my by
I'll need a little more help than a little bit
Like a perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by this time
I know it feels like the end
Don't wanna be here again
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again
And what it takes, I don't care
We're gonna make it, I swear
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again, again
I'll need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get my by
I'll need a little more help than a little bit
Like a perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by this time
I know it feels like the end
Don't wanna be here again
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again
And what it takes, I don't care
We're gonna make it, I swear
And we could help each other off the ground
So we never fall down again

TONGUE TIED by FABER DRIVE.

6AM.

i woke up.
awoken by an sms.

FUCKING TEXT.

so i peeped at my phone.
wondering if it was reuben,
cos no one else texts me so early luh.

nope.

it was MOE.
wow.

so i read on.
oh! my name!
what the fuck.

then i saw the school i was posted to.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

all that was in my mind was that.
FTW.

and so i walked out to tell mummy the news.
cos she was gonna send my sister to school.

not much reaction.

went back to sleep.

couldnt fall asleep.
OMFG.

then i went to text reuben.
my head was like freaking pain.
was damn tired luh.

7 AM.

somehow managed to fall asleep.

8 AM.

woken up by my daddy.
who wanted to have a chat with me.

so while washing up and all that,
i hurriedly replied jon's text,
and received a phone call from lidia so chatted for awhile.

then i ran downstairs.
scared get scolded luh.

then my daddy was asking me why i like VJC so much.
and he hinted something about going there cos of a guy.
and i said, "NO. of course not."

seriously man, if i went to a school because of a guy,
that is 500% dumb.
and im not that dumb.

then he continued saying
"is there some senior you wanna get close to?"
and i said,
"erm. no?"

and duh,
he was talking about my best friend.
what the fuck.
omg.

10 AM.

finally finished talk.
and my daddy still thinks im in love with reuben or something.

and he keep asking if reuben is chasing me or something,
and was like telling me dont get attached in JC.

okayokay.
i kept nodding my head.
usual.
i heard all these like a million times already.

after that, i ironed clothes.
and my daddy still hasnt noticed the brown hair! xD

now im like so sleepy.

and i've lost all my appetite.
feeling so pissed.

thank god,
ian's talking to me right now and helping me to keep sane.

anyway,

REUBEN- i look at my ass in the mirror. try that too! look at your ass in the mirror! xD

COLIN- its not fake! i was just feeling emo that day.

Baby, I'm so into you
You've got that something, what can I do?
Baby, you spin me around, oh
The earth is movin, but I can't feel the ground
Every time you look at me
My heart is jumpin', it's easy to see
Lovin' you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before

do i even have a heart now?
i only know im waiting for you.
i wanna see you again.
ahh, fuck. ._.
what am i thinking....

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not gettin' me very far
I look around my room and everything
I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my handwe've got nothing left to prove
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

damn regret.
i'll try to forget....

♥ MEL

2:53 AM

♥ Thursday, January 29, 2009

You got me falling, through noticing, the little things you do
Putting a hold right over me
Funny as it seems, you make me dream
Doing the little things, those little things you do

Fade in, start the scene.
Enter beautiful girl.
But things are not what they seem,
As we stand at the edge of the world.
"Excuse me sir, but I had plans to die tonight.
Oh, and you are directly in my way.
And I bet you’re gonna say it’s not right."
My reply,
"Excuse me miss,
But do you have the slightest clue,
Of exactly what you just said to me,
And exactly who you’re talking to?"
She said, "I don’t care you don’t even know me."
I said, "I know but I’d like to change that soon hopefully.
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion,
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion.
See the trick is that you are never supposed to act on it.
No matter how unbearable this misery gets."
"You make it sound so easy to be alive.
Tell me how am I supposed to seize this day,
When everything inside of me has died?"
My reply,
"Trust me girl.
I know your legs are pleading to leap,
But I offer you this easy choice.
Instead of dying living with me."
She said, "Are you crazy? You don’t even know me."
I said, "I know but I’d like to change that soon hopefully.
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion,
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion.
See the trick is that you are never supposed to act on it.
No matter how unbearable this misery gets.
I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough,
And all this cliché motivation it could never be enough.
I could stand here all night trying to convince you,
But what good would that do?
My offer stands and you must choose."
"Alright you win but I only give you one night,
To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight.
I swear to God if you hurt me I will leap.
I will toss myself from these very cliffs,
And you'll never see it coming."
"Settle precious, I know what you're going through.
Because ten minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too.
Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion,
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion.
See the trick is that you are never supposed to act on it.
No matter how unbearable this misery gets."

SELF CONCLUSION by THE SPILL CANVAS.

im back to crazy cam whoring again.
and i've got this craze with taking emo photos.
got so many photos now.
everyday uploading on facebook.
what the heck.

here's the link:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=779949777&ref=profile

and today was fun!
went lidia's house in the morning.
and was attempting to put fake lashes.
BUT I WAS SUCH A LOSER AND SUCH A FAILURE.

and i swear xiaxue made it look so easy.
but i suck at it!
rawrr.

okay, then we kinda got bored at her house.
so we went over to city plaza.
and i didnt know theres direct bus from my house busstop to there!

the place is often called sleazy and ulu and whatever.
but well,
i found it okay luh.
not that scary.
and definitely not as frightening as peninsular.

after that, went tampines mall.
walk around.
then met JONATHAN.
haha, like kinda missed hanging out with him also luh.
last time i saw him was two days before my birthday.
okay, its quite long ago luh.

and i almost got away with his handphone and wallet in my bag! xD
HAHAHAHA. but he kinda "robbed" me.

anyway,
watched love matters.
the jack neo show.
wah, damn cool luh.
by the time movie ended was quite late.
so cool man!
i like staying out late.
but it wasnt that late luh.
about 7 plus?

and by the time i reached home was 8plus.
too tired to do anything.
but since im bored,
i came online to blog.

my eyes are like damn pain today.
fuck.

and fuck my stupid handphone bill.
i dont even call people using my handphone,
and they fucking said i exceed by an hour.
they should check their motherfucking system!
obviously got some error there
and those bastards didnt see carefully.
damn ass.

and heres a random zi lian photo.

look damn emo right?
took this photo yesterday.

thanks ian, for being understanding and listening.
its good that you're now immune to my emo-ing.
and thanks for always being there. (:
and sorry yunming, for being so fucking vulgar when i replied your texts. \=

and heres a photo of my hair!

hope i dont look ah lian luh.

i actually wanted purple! or light brown! sheesh!

Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart You make it easier when life gets hard

You hold me right here right now

i've made a self conclusion.
you're a bastard.
get a fucking life.
get out of my life.

♥ MEL

5:10 AM

♥ Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Oh baby, baby
The reason I breathe is you
Boy you got me blinded
Oh pretty, baby
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
It's not the way I planned it
Show me, how you want it to be
Tell me baby
'Cause I need to know now,
oh because
My loneliness is killing me
I must confess, I still believe
When I'm not with you, I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

I'm rackin my brain
trying to comprehend
how, for some unknown reason,
our status will remain as friends
I'm destroying my mind
trying to understand how with little to no effort
you've got me eating out of the palms of your hands
There was not a single spark
when my lips landed on yours in the dark,
but regardless of what happens next
you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet
Tonight I made a secret oath
to keep chasing after you
and I am not going to stop
whether you like it or not
We're murdering our lives
trying to make it work,
but you and I both know that we are a lost cause
and nothing more than specks on this Earth
There was not a single spark
when my lips landed on yours in the dark,
but regardless of what happens next
you're my beloved, you just don't know it yet
Tonight I made a secret oath
to keep chasing after you
and I am not going to stop
whether you like it or not
Tonight I made a secret oath
to keep chasing after you
and I am not going to stop
whether you like it or not
Yeah I know you listen to this all alone up in your room
I know you love how all this music's about you

SECRET OATH by THE SPILL CANVAS.

okay,
im updating my blog cos my darling bestfriend asked me to!
SMILE REUBEN!

and so,
i shall tell you about bimbo's day out.

actually,
'bimbo' is the wrong word uh?
cos im not pretty and i happen to have a brain!

OMG.
okay.
so whats the anonym of bimbo?

smart ass?
'cos smart is opposite of no brain and an ass is ugly?
and my ass is ugly too.
WTF.

but smart ass is too nice a term for me.

okay fuck.
what am i talking about.

anyway, let me tell you about MEL's girly outing today.

woke up early to wash up, make up, comb hair (did i even comb?), change clothes
and alot of other shit.
i took like an hour to get ready.

and i so aunty today can!
carry this stupid black prada handbag and wore black charles and keith shoes.
erm, my mummy's shoes.
HAHA.
yeah.
when i went up the bus and my ezlink didnt work,
the bus driver thought i was like 20?
bloody fuck.
i where got so old sia.

then i met princess lidia at orchard station.
okay luh, dont suan you already.

and we went far east walk around.
the most fun part was the eyelashes!
we spent damn long in that shop man.

I NEED TO BUY AN EYELASH CURLER.
omg.

anyway, after that we went to walk around wisma and taka.
and then went kbox.

the best part of the day was my imitation of "fei yu qing" in jay chou's "qian li zi wai"
and damn,
the recording is with lidia.
she better not post on the net man!
damn paiseh sia.
but i imitate until so shuang lo.
just that i kept laughing.

TIME TO GET DESPO.
ANYBODY GOT GUYS TO INTRO?
what the fuck.
i was just kidding luh.
so fucking retarded.
as if i need people to intro guys.
im already in love with my bolster.
so despo guys should fuck off.

i've changed.
im not the mel i used to be.
i dont know why.
i just feel i've changed.
maybe im still mel.
i am still mel afterall.
but theres something in me thats different.
can anyone tell?

Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
Oh pretty baby
I shouldn't have let you go
I must confess, that my loneliness
Is killing me now
Don't you know I still believe
That you will be here
And give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

all i need is someone to love,
and someone to love me back.

♥ MEL

5:16 AM

♥ Sunday, January 25, 2009

Where'd you go,
I miss you so....

Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you (hardly know you)
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you when we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right (isn't right)
And I've got someone waiting too
What if this is just the beginning?
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Isn't this the best part of waking up?
Finding someone else you can't get enough of,
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful?
Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
Outta this that we can't control
Baby I'm dyin'
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Whenever i think about you

WHY CAN'T I by LIZ PHAIR.

IF A GUY DOESN'T LIKE YOU,

NOTHING WILL MAKE HIM STAY.

IF A GUY LIKES YOU,

NOTHING WILL KEEP HIM AWAY.

Maybe I'm wrong, you decide.

Not a day pass me by
When I don't think about you.

♥ MEL

4:51 AM

♥ Friday, January 23, 2009

You, you don't really want to stay, no
You, but you don't really want to go-o
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

Maybe I'm wrong, you decide
Should've been strong, yeah I lied
Nobody gets me like you
Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what you meant
There was nothin' to compare to
There's a mountain between us
But there's one thing I'm sure of
That I know how I feel about you
Can we bring yesterday back around
'Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I've let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
I'll bet it takes one more chance
Don't let our last kiss be our last
I'm outta my mind just to show you
I know everything changes
I don't care where it takes us
'Cause I know how I feel about you
Can we bring yesterday back around
'Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I've let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Not a day passed me by
Not a day passed me by
When I don't think about you
And there's no movin' on
'Cause I know you're the one
And I can't be without you
Can we bring yesterday back around
'Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I've let you down (I've let you down)
But I know how I feel about you now
Can we bring yesterday back around
'Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I've let you down (let you down)
But I know how I feel about you now
But I know how I feel about you now
Yeah I know how I feel about you now

ABOUT YOU NOW by MIRANDA COSGROVE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyFtotnL-gk

yeah, i know how i feel about you now.

what the heck.
i feel so emo.
i cant cry,
i cant scream,
i cant hit myself.
SHIT.
i shouldnt emo luh.
i dont know whats wrong with me luh.
my eyes hurt.
my heart is heavy.
my mind is full of thoughts.
im thinking crazy things.
i wanna stop feeling like this.
i need answers.
i wanna know everything.
i wanna know what you think.
i wanna know what you feel.
i dont wanna drag things.
i dont wanna force things.
i dont know what i want now.
im confused.
who are my true friends?
who are the ones who can understand how i feel?
who are the ones who bother to try make me happy when im down?
who are the ones who will lend me a shoulder to cry on?
who are the ones who will appreciate me for who i am?
who are the ones who will give me advice and listen to me when im spilling my troubles?
i need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
and i want someone to love and someone who loves me back,
but does that person know whats going on in my head?
we'll be friends for now, wont we?
i dont wanna rush into anything.
i dont wanna ruin the friendship we have now.
and i hope you're not mindgaming me.
that sucks.
i dont wanna be played.
i dont wanna be a fool again.
or maybe i already am?

and thanks REUBEN,
my dearest bestfriend,
for talking to me,
for being here for me,
for assuring you'll be there for me,
for making me smile,
for keeping me sane,
for understanding how i feel,
for helping me pray i'll get into VJ,
for being an awesome friend even though im quite a loser,
for cheering me up when im emo,
and for being my best friend!
i know this sounds mushy.
but yeah, i love you as a best friend kay!

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

my favourite lyrics from OHIO IS FOR LOVERS by HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS:
So cut my wrists and black my eyes
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight or die
Spare me just three last words
i love you is all she heard
I'll wait for you but i cant wait forever

yes, i'll wait for you but i cant wait forever.
i hope i dont sound obsessive or possesive to you.

♥ MEL

3:51 AM

♥ Thursday, January 22, 2009

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you

another cigarette and i'm so bored
your words are making sense
i was taken, but you were waiting
one more drink and i'm convinced
not one more sound
let your hair down
take the low road
no one will know
whoa, i feel just like we're taking control
of the night, of the night yeah yeah
whoa, i feel just like we're losing control
but if you let go, i'll let go tonight
another minute lived, if you take me
i'll take what you will give
i was late and she kept waiting
but i hope she knows where i've been
not one more sound
let your hair down
take the low road
no one will know
whoa, i feel just like we're taking control
of the night, of the night yeah yeah
whoa, i feel just like we're losing control
but if you let go, i'll let go tonight
i'm coming down
bring me up take it off
let's just touch
whoa, i feel just like we're taking control
of the night, of the night yeah yeah
whoa, i feel just like we're losing control
but if you let go, i'll let go tonight

CONTROL by METRO STATION.

i didnt blog about the past two days.
well, here goes!

WEDNESDAY.

woke up early to meet junhao at junction 8.
but we ended up going to library.
and i went to read this book on dreams.
dreaming of myself dying = long life.
cool right!
im gonna live longlong! =D
and he was reading chinese book again.

then met xiuping and lidia at city hall.
and we had a great time.
xiuping the babe and lidia with the pretty face!
and you're not changi okay!

after that i travelled to pasir ris to meet myron.
he treated me lunch at swensons,
and it was insane cos he was watching me eat.
he said he was on diet luh.
so he drank water while i ate baked curry rice.
then he was like,
"this is your birthday treat okay. now i dont owe you anthing.
and when exactly is your birthday uh?"
WHAT THE HECK.
heart damn pain sia.
he dont even know my birthday.
sheesh.

then my legs started to hurt.
and i had to put plasters on both feet to prevent blisters.
looked quite ugly!

after that,
met weeb at tampines mall.
then we went kfc to eat and talk.
heh, eat again luh.
getting fat. ):
then after that,
had to meet my daddy at ikea.
was sure of how to go, so weeb showed me.
and that silly boy ended up going home quite late,
and i felt quite paiseh.

when i reached home,
my mummy called me EMO.
cos of my eyeliner.
what the heck!
and i had dinner.
a super big bowl of beehoon!
so nice.

and yeah,
eat again luh.
so fat so fat!

aiyah,
past few days quite siao luh.

SAVE ME, REUBEN.
IM GOING CRAZY! ):
help keep me sane!

sometimes i wonder where my true friends are....

My love is true,
It's a matter of fact.
Oh, and you love me too.
It's a simple as that.

are you tired from running through my mind almost every second?

♥ MEL

5:15 AM

♥ Tuesday, January 20, 2009

You'll always be my baby.

Oh, yeah
Hush, just stop
There’s nothing you can do or say, baby
I’ve had enough
I’m not your property as from today, baby
You might think that I won't make it on my own
But now I’m...
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more
I, I’m stronger
Than I ever thought that I could be, baby
I used to go with the flow
Didn’t really care ‘bout me
You might think that I can’t take it, but you’re wrong
‘Cause now I’m...
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more
I, I’m stronger
Come on, now
Oh, yeah
Here I go, on my own
I don’t need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own now
I don’t need nobody, not anybody
Here I go (Here I go...)
Alright (Alright...)
(Here I go...)
Here I go
Stronger than yesterday
It’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more
I, I’m stronger!
Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more
Now I'm stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My lonliness ain’t killing me no more (No more)
I, I’m stronger

STRONGER by BRITNEY SPEARS.

im stronger now.

stronger than yesterday.

okay, so random!

but yeah,

i am stronger.

im not gonna get bullied,

im not gonna fall prey to those stupid mindgames of yours.

i'll be strong. (:

anyway, that was random.

but i did hear this song at heartland mall today.

got hooked onto it.

SHEESH.

but well,

i got nice pedicure.

go to my facebook and see.

i uploaded quite a few photos.

including those at lidia's house with her dog!

CUTEEEE!

and i just realised lidia and i are gonna be hanging out 3 days in a row for this week.

thats nice.

i like hanging out with my girlfriend! (:

tomorrow is cool day!

i got 4 dates! xD

not the real dating kinda dates luh.

i not so flirtatious.

really look forward to it.

wonder what lidia's gonna wear!

bet she'll look prettier than me,

like DUH.

she always does. (:

well,

im looking forward free icecream too!

that crazy myron dont even know whens my birthday luh.

YAY.

i'll make him buy me the super ex one!

nah, just kidding.

alrighty!

i need beauty sleep.

hope i look not so ugly tomorrow!

toodles!

It's hard to believe, that i couldn't see,

That you were always right beside me.

where are you now?

♥ MEL

5:08 AM

♥ Monday, January 19, 2009

Everyone's a let downIt just depends on how far down they can go
In every circle of friends there's a whore
The one who flirts
And does a little moreBut who's to say?
This is a social scene anyway
And everybody wants to explore the new girl
Caught up in her own hard liquor world
But liquor doesn't exist in my world
But liquor doesn't exist in my world

Yeah
And you say chi city chi city chi city
I’m coming home again
Do you think about me now and then
Do you think about me now and then
Cause I’m coming home again
Coming home again
I met this girl when I was three years old
And what I love most she had so much soul
She said Excuse me little homie I know you don’t know me
But my name is Windy and I like to blow trees and
From that point I never blow her off
Niggers come from out of town I like to show her off
They like to act tough she like to toe em off
And make em straighten up their hat cuz she know they soft
And when I grew up she showed me how to go downtown
And in the nighttime her face lit up so astounding
I told her in my heart is where she’ll always be
She never mess with entertainers cuz they always leave
She said it felt like they walked and drove on me
Knew I was gang affiliated got on tv and told on me
I guess that’s why last winter she got so cold on me
She said yay keep makin keep makin that platinum and gold for me
I’m coming home again
Do you think about me now and then
Do you think about me now and then
Cause I’m coming home again
Coming home again
Do you think about me now and then
Do you think about me now and then
Oh Now I’m coming home again
Maybe we can start again
But if you really cared for her
Then you wouldn’t of never
Hit the airport to follow your dreams
Sometimes I still talk to her
But when I talk to her, it always seems like she talkin about me
She said you left your kids, and they just like you
They wanna rap and make soul beats just like you
But they just not you and I just got through
Talkin bout what niggahs tryin to do just not new
Now everybody got the game figured out all wrong
I guess you never know what you got till it’s gone
I guess that’s why I’m here and I can’t come back home
And guess when I heard that when I was back home
Every interview I’m representing you making you proud
Reach for the stars so if you fall you land on a cloud
Jumpin in da crowd spark your lighters wave em around
If you don’t know by now
I’m talkin bout Chi-town
I’m coming home again
Do you think about me now and then
Do you think about me now and then
Cause I’m coming home again
Coming home again
Baby do you remember when Fireworks at Lake Michigan
Oh Now I’m coming home again
Coming home again
Baby do you remember when Fireworks at Lake Michigan
Oh Now I’m coming home again
Maybe we can start again
Loy oy oy oh
Loy oy oy oh
Comin home again
Loy oy oy oh
Loy oy oy oh
Comin home again
Maybe we can start again

HOMECOMING by KANYE WEST.

today was a great girly day!
its fun to hang out with my close girlfriend. (:
and nice nails we have!
i cant wait for our pedicure tomorrow! =D

anyway,
been thinking alot today.

two girls have already told me my tao hua yun very good.
but actually,
im always attracting the wrong people.
and the one i really want doesnt want me.

you know,
sometimes you want someone....
then the person leaves you hanging with no answer.
that person is confused.
and when the person finally gets his conclusion,
you're already gone.
gone gone gone....

And i still love the way that you taste.

♥ MEL

4:27 AM

♥ Sunday, January 18, 2009

don't want to reach for me, do you
i mean nothing to you
the little things give you away
and now there will be no mistaking

Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me
Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by, oh
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't wanna let this go
I, I don't
Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, oh, oh
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight

A THOUSAND MILES by VANESSA CARLTON.

everytime i hear this song,
i think about that American Idol contestant.
if i remember correctly,
it was season 7?

and today i'm feeling so much better because now i have my new phone!
WOOHOO!
i can't wait for the charging to finish.
yippee!

and i definitely look forward to tomorrow as well.
probably more shopping!
and not to mention,
the manicure!
=D

HOORAY!
i'm kinda excited now.
like, really excited.

well,
at least im feeling happier today.
i went to dig up my CDs and transfer the songs back into my computer.
though really nice ones like Aiden aren't there anymore....
it's alright i guess....
gotta live with it. ):

and two unexpected things happened today.
sighh....
when will people stop playing with my mind....

toodles!

Cause a mind on a mission
With enough ammunition
And the proper position
Is a mind that you just set free

Navigate me

i just need to read your mind....

♥ MEL

2:16 AM

♥ Saturday, January 17, 2009

And we're friends, we're friends
Just because we move units

I'm waiting
For the perfect time to call you back
Cos' I remember saying
Don't wanna know the truth
Can't handle that
And I try to just forget you
But I don't know how
If only I knew
It's written all over your face
Such a painful thing to waste
Tell me now
Where do we go
Now the future's not so clear
I can't believe we've ended here
Where's the world that doesn't care
Maybe I could meet you there
I'm sorry
If I slagged you down
I meant no harm
When I heard the stories
Said things I didn't mean
Should have stayed calm
But sadly
You got angry
And it breaks my heart
You're so mad at me
Its written all over your face
Such a painful thing to waste
Tell me now
Where do we go
Now the future's not so clear
I can't believe we've ended here
Where's the world that doesn't care
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I could meet you there
Its written all over your face
Such a painful thing to waste
Tell me now
Where do we go
Now the future's not so clear
I can't believe we've ended here
Where's the world that doesn't care
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I could meet you there
Maybe I should meet you there

MEET YOU THERE by BUSTED.

TODAY SUCKS.
woke up at 830.
feeling tired.
'cos last night didnt sleep well.
even though i dreamt of someone.
it was weird i even dreamt of him.
it just really got me thinking,
is he the one i want?
or am i just being crazy and thinking too much into a stupid dream.

and the first text i received was from weeb.
saying he wanna change day for movie.
then i had to text davin to change our lunch to another day.
but lucky the morning stuff werent affected.
next week busy week for me sia.
but i like going out with friends luh,
so i dont mind. (:

im feeling funny today.
i dont know how to describe the exact feeling.
but its just weird.

well,
today we were supposed to buy iPhone.
so we went to heartland mall.
the fucking visa and nets system was down.
so its either cash or we go to another branch.
and my parents decided to go J8 one.
WOW. there no stock.
so what the fuck,
all the stupid wasted trips.
ahh well, its alright.
i cant do much.
its fate, i guess.

people arent replying my texts,
but its fine.
i've got nothing to say about that.
i just feel really restless and stuff.

and also,
i played Wii for the whole afternoon.
now im aching like crazy.
seriously,
my fingers hurt while im typing.

so i guess i cant even play piano for now?

on the bright side,
manicure on monday! =D

okay,
so only two good things so far.
its been a really rotten day.

feeling so sian.
'cos i accidentally deleted alot of songs from my com.
which makes me not a music library anymore.
just a screwed up human being with little songs.

and the emo feeling is here,
creeping and spreading thru me uncontrollably.
i feel like stuffing myself with food,
yet at the same time i dont feel like eating at all.

FUCK.
im feeling so irritated with myself.
i cant stand it anymore.
its this weird feeling of wanting to isolate myself from the world,
yet....
im sure i'd rather have someone to talk to.
someone to tell me jokes to cheer me up....
someone to talk to me to keep me sane....

well,
im listening to BLINK 182's live concert now.
its quite awesome.

and i've gotta speak my mind about some things.
some things that get me really irritated.

PERSON A.
a girl who cares about guys more than me.
its fine for a girl to like talking to guys.
its fine for a girl to have guy friends.
its fine for a girl to talk to many guys at one time.
but the pretty face gets you nowhere.
you need to care about your girl friends too!
when in times of need and stuff,
you come to me.
you tell me your guy problems.
and i'll give you advice.
after that,
you just drift off.
probably with a new guy or something.
FUCKING IRRITATING.
at least spare a fucking thought for me?
you think im here for you forever?
CHERISH YOUR FRIENDS LUH!
those goddamned guy friends of yours come and go.
you got unlimited SMS, so what?
text all the guys and when i sms you,
you dont even reply.
you think you saint uh?
when you want to talk to me,
i must talk to you.
but when i wanna talk to you,
you so reluctant to talk to me.
and its not like im all the time talking about guy problems okay!
DARE YOU TO TELL ME IN MY FACE THAT YOU DONT WANT TO TALK TO ME.
i swear,
the next time you sms me,
im not gonna bother reply.
I SWEAR.
im seriously damn pissed with you now, okay.
i wont accept your apology.
i wont forgive and forget.
trust me.

PERSON B.
a guy, after breaking up with his ex,
keep showing off that he now knows so many new girls.
yeah, like whatever luh.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKING DESPO YOU ARE?
meet a girl,
chat her up,
get her number,
its fine.
but dont go around showing off you got so many freaking new girlfriends luh.
curse you turn GAY.
DESPOs are like so irritating luh.
I HATE THIS KINDA PEOPLE.
and plus somemore,
go for looks when hes not even handsome.
JUST FUCKING LOOK IN YOUR GODDAMNED MIRROR.
see your face?
look like APE right?
you still want date girls?
go fuck an orang utan luh.
bloody hell.

PERSON C.
a guy whos not bad looking and think he can get all the girls.
FUCK YOU.
you think you're mr. singapore?
go see what you'll look like in 10years luh.
bet you look worst.
so what if you're fit now?
so what if you look good now?
so what if you're good with girls?
this charm aint gonna last, dude.
and those MIND GAMES....
it makes you a fucking bastard.
spare a thought for people's feelings.
STUPID PLAYER.
when you get played,
you'll learn your lesson as well.
HAVE FUN GETTING HURT.
if you're lucky,
it wont happen to you.
but you know what you are.
A FUCKING FLIRT WHO PLAYS PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.
go get a life.
playing with feelings isnt the best hobby you can have.
for you,
i'd suggest....
cutting yourself everyday?
STAB YOUR STOMACH AND BLEED.
and cry for the one you really love,
who obviously wont love you 'cos you're so damn screwed up.
im not sorry at all, that we had a head on collision. (:

okay, sorry for the venting of anger and all that.
its really rather vulgar,
but i kinda feel better now.
typing all these out.
heh,
and if you fucker know im talking about you,
go stab yourself and self-reflect abit luh.
damnass.

im really sorry luh.
for those who are really shocked reading this.
i have to get EVERYTHING out of my chest.
and seriously,
now i feel like having a good meal.
and just watch MTV and smile more.
theres no icecream or chocolate left at home.
its really fun.
like some treasure hunt,
i have to go around hunting for something to eat.
and im sure im getting fat.
which aint good luh.

but who cares about me anyway. (:

anyway,
here are some songs that are really nice.
do check them out:

1. SOMETHING REAL by AMERICAN HI-FI.
2. SPEAK OF THE DEVIL by SUM 41.
3. BABY COME HOME by AMERICAN HI-FI.
4. I CAUGHT FIRE (IN YOUR EYES) by THE USED.
5. ADAM'S SONG by BLINK 182.
6. HEAD ON COLLISION by NEW FOUND GLORY.
7. MISERY LOVES ITS COMPANY by THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS.

Oh yeah, you caught me.
But I caught you on worse
They say, "You want a war? You've got a war."
But who are you fighting for?
The tide's out, the ship's run aground
We drown traitors in shallow water

you've got a way of making me feel like this.
don't keep me waiting, please.
just stay with me now....

♥ MEL

1:10 AM

♥ Friday, January 16, 2009

Same shit, different day.
Same shit, different day.

I’m like a rookie paramedic to a siren
Prayin' for an accident
No they won't let me roll, ‘til I got no back up
Until they're out of control
This emergency brought you to me
I'll be your doctor
I'll be your cure
I'll be your medicine and more
Yeah you can rest assure
I'm your doctor I’m your cure
I'll be your cure
I got a secret
Please don’t repeat it
I took the chemicals we took to make our chemistry
And I remixed it
It didn't fix it
All it did was make the memories a blur to me
But this emergency brought you, brought you to me
I’ll be your cure, I’ll be yours
This is it for me.

DOCTOR by CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR.

okay, you losers reading this blog but not tagging....

i haven't been blogging 'cos i've been going out almost everyday.
and not because i'm upset about results,
'cos i'm satisfied with my grades.
and yeah,
MOVE ON. (:

anyway, its been a fun week.
went out with MANY PEOPLE.

on tuesday,
went out with MUMMY.
bought some shorts.
nice. (:

on wednesday,
went watch movie with yunming, haqeem and xiao yi. (:
TRANSPORTER 3.
which i bet YM enjoyed alot 'cos he's like, so horny.
and maybe haqeem also! xD
and xiao yi and i just kept saying that girl very despo.

on thursday,
girly outing with lidia.
we went shopping, shopping and shopping.
took some neoprints.
and we seriously visited 3 charles and keith outlet.
after awhile, got really tired.
'cos we were both wearing heels.
BTH leh!
feet aching like mad.
and something related to 'nice ass' happened after that.
SO HILARIOUS.

and today,
had starbucks in the morning with timothy, his best friend and xiao yi.
which was fun.
'cos i LOVE coffee.
but it was also fun hanging out luh. (:
then later,
met aiswarya for lunch.
and sent off my kiddies for movie.
and then,
went to watch IP MAN with marc.
DAMN NICE MOVIE.
i love kungfu luh.
and donnie yan was like so cool,
his face so stoned one. xD
maybe that's why i like jasper hale from twilight more than anyone else in the movie.
his face described as 'permanently in pain'.

and next week, another exciting week before chinese new year!
can't wait!
MONEYMONEYMONEYMONEY.

anyway,
i can't stand guys who call themselves HOT and SHUAI....
and all those bullshit names that don't even suit them.
at least be modest right.
damn idiot sia.
can you imagine i tell you "eh, i'm like the prettiest girl in my school luh."
SO THICKSKINNED CAN.
i know i normally quite ego-istic.
but i only call myself "nice" sometimes.
not like "beautiful" and "gorgeous" and all those crap.

i'm like really praying hard VJC takes me in. ):

toodles!

Well a-1, 2, 3
Take my hand and come with me
Because you look so fine
That I really wanna make you mine
I said, you look so fine
That I really wanna make you mine
4, 5, 6
C'mon and get your kicks
Now you don’t need the money when u look like that, do ya honey

baby, where's the emergency?
how do i make you mine....

♥ MEL

4:36 AM

♥ Sunday, January 11, 2009

And I think what I just wrote is going over my head
I'm stealing lines from myself
And what I said was never said

It's just a lyrical lie
Made up in my mind
And you want to be dressed in poetry
But imagery doesn't fit
And you want resizing
But darling dear get a grip

Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy.
One look puts the rhythm in my head.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around.
I see what's going down.
Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again.
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end.
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect.
Every action in this world will bear a consequence.
If you wait around forever you will surely drown.
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say you're right again,
Ssy your right again
Heed my lecture.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end.
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt she said "This doesn't hurt."
She said "I've finally had enough."
Face down in the dirt she said "This doesn't hurt."
She said "I've finally had enough."
(One day she will tell you that she has had enough.)
It's coming 'round again.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end.
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end.
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt she said "This doesn't hurt."
She said "I've finally had enough."

FACE DOWN by THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS

today i've been trying to distract myself.
but to no avail.

i played Wii.
i did a full victoria school prelim2 emath paper.
i watched DVDs.
i did ironing.
i tried to fall asleep.
i listened to music.
i texted my good friend.
i played pets society.
i replied comments on friendster.
i visited friends' blogs.

IM NOT NERVOUS AT ALL.
seriously.

the stupid wait is damn irritating.

why cant time move faster?
im seriously so bored.

i wanna get back to school.
do homework,
and distract myself.

but im looking forward to thursday and friday!
already made plans to go out with two friends. (:

ahh....

tired of blogging!

TOODLES! (:

I wanna know the things you're thinking
I wanna be the place you are
Under the city lights
I’m sinking Is anybody out there?
I wanna know the way you’re feeling
I wanna heal your deepest scars
I’m drowning myself with sober thinking
Is anybody out there?

why cant time move faster?
why cant i stop thinking about you?
why cant i just see that we're not meant to be?
why cant i just get over the fact you obviously dont want me?
darling, give me the answers....

♥ MEL

1:50 AM

♥ Friday, January 09, 2009

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away

And honestly,
I have been begging for answers
That you and only you can give to me
A voice crying loud
I've been crying for days now
And as I start to run,
I stop to breathe (And I was nearly scared to death)
And I was nearly scared to death (Why you left in paragraphs)
Why you left in paragraphs (The words were nearly over us)
The words were nearly over us
You stop and turn and grab your bags
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice,
He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
As hours move to minutes
And minutes take longer to break
I will be desperately awaiting
But my tongue won't fall apart
And we've been sitting here for hours
All alone and in the dark
So let me think of to word it
Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?
If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere
I'm sure everything would find me
All that's left is just to sing
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice,
He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?
And you'll sing to me sweet until then,
I may never sail Virginia again
Alas this current moves slow for me, this much you must know...we'll meet again
And I'll, I'll have you know I'm scared to death
Tell me once again that you will love me till the death
And should I die, you swear that you will come for me
As I fade away, you reach out your arms (And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go (And please don't let me go)
And please don't let me go
And I'll be here by the ocean
Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
I could stand here for hours
Just to ask God the question, "Is everyone here make-believe?"
With a tear in His voice,
He said, "Son, that's the question."
Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?

YOU BE THE ANCHOR THAT KEEPS MY FEET ON THE GROUND
by MAYDAY PARADE

YESTERDAY.

i woke up feeling stupid,
as usual.

was listening to THE VERONICAS.

"i'm having a day from hell"
that's the first line of the song WHEN IT ALL FALLS APART.

cool song for a cool day eh.

yeah, seriously.
a day from hell,
my goddamned handphone spoilt.
so i had to use my sister's phone.
and all my contacts gone.

a huge sorry to weeb, ryan, haqeem and nesh.
you guys wished me happy birthday and i was like,
"thanks, who are you anyway?"

well,
the second line of the song is
"before you came"

where are you?

okay,
what the heck.
i'm seriously damn stupid right.

then,
i went to call LYDIA.
asked her if she was on her way over.
then began to prepare for her arrival.

my mummy cooked mian xian for me.
she said it was birthday breakfast,
must finish everything.
so, i did.
and i was so freaking bloated i could just go commit suicide luh.

damn.

anyway,
i walked out to my house bus-stop to pick lydia up.
and i was really surprised with the lovely pink box she gave me.
and inside were awesome stuff.
like the CHOCOLATE.
that was the best! =D
thanks dear!
so sweet of you. (:

we played wii for awhile before going to my room to play with soft toys and just chat.
quite sad we forgot to cam-whore.
HAH.

and then after that,
we left for lunch at compass point.

we met reuben at the female shoes section of metro xD
then headed for swensons.

lunch was lovely. (:

and we took couple of photos.
but as usual,
i look awfully weird. ):

LYDIA <3

OUR LUNCH.
baked rice.
the paper i'm holding is actually a tissue paper nicely decorated by lydia. (:
it says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL"
awwww.... (:
i still have it in my bag leh! =D

REUBEN! =D

the free ice cream!
it's on the house 'cos it's my birthday =D

two photos taken by reuben xD

the funniest part was when lydia suggested i put three cheeries in my mouth and take photo.
like in the video "womanizer" where britney ate cherries on top of the guy.
and reuben had to suan me by saying i'm man-izer.
HAHA.
had a blast at lunch!

our lunch cost us about 31bucks.
which ain't that bad.
'cos it's three people eating. (:

after that,
we went NYP.
'cos AJC openhouse was closed already.
met IAN there.
my ahma got new haircut sia!
now cannot give him hairband already.

so, it was kinda best friends reunion.
THREE BESTFRIENDS pei-ing me go openhouse.
sweet huh. (:

then after walking around,
i got kinda tired.
so started to feel a lil emo.

so it's a little bit emo + my handphone spoil emo = QUITE EMO.
which kinda sucked.
'cos when ryan gave me birthday present,
i think my face was kinda black x=
not intentional!
but thanks for the present anyway. (:

it was quite interesting luh.
met a few other unexpected people.

and on the bus ride home,
i think i was extremely quiet.
and ian thought he offended me.
but nah,
dont worry luh, ahma.
i'm nice to old people.

but in the end,
at night,
don't know why we both emo-ed like crazy.
heh,
lucky got nice person pei me talk till my birthday was officially over. (:

was supposed to go newyorknewyork for dinner.
but my mummy suggested going to the country club instead.
so i was like,
anything luh.
emo also can't eat much.
and i hardly smiled too.
sheesh.

but there was some fun when we reached home and did cake cutting.
birthday songs are nice.
they kinda cheer me up in a way. (:

my cake so cute! (:

I LOVE MY PENGUIN SHIRT =D

HOPE MY WISH COME TRUE....

MY FAMILY,
who have been here for me,
always. (:

fell asleep at 1, i think.
was texting 7 people.
damn good finger exercise.
heh,
and haqeem and billy were the last to wish me happy birthday.
thanks anyway. (:

TODAY.

nothing much happened.
woke up at 9.

dreamt of the same person for 3nights in a row already.
DAMN.

and then had piano lesson.
which cheered me up a lil.
but was still kinda dead.

drank ALOT of water today.
maybe i drink alot of water when i'm emo?

after lesson,
i came online to blog and talk to a few friends.

i'm seriously damn tired.
but i can't fall back asleep.

i'm waiting for a miracle.

toodles!

p.s.:

the previous post consists of what happened on 7th and 8th.

those who read the post on the 7th,

i edited, added new stuff and re-posted on the 8th.

blogger's fault.

REPLIES TO TAGS:

lidia-- i don't think he reads luh. but the photos are damn hilarious! =D

esther-- it was just a dinner. don't suan me luh....

weeb-- haha, HELLO! MEL is nicer. but wei bin is a cute name luh!

yiling-- get well soon, a'ite? (:

I'm not going

Cause I've been waiting for a miracle

And I'm not leaving

I won't let you

Let you give up on a miracle

Cause it might save you

i was really glad to receive a birthday greeting from you.
the sms came late,
but i'm glad you didnt forget. (:

♥ MEL

10:22 PM